Meet the Billets [Luke Hemmings]

22. Mila Young's New Year's Rockin' Eve

MILA
     I'm gonna vomit.

     There is absolutely no way in hell tonight was going to go well. There was now only an hour left before I had to leave for Erika's New Year's Eve party, and I wasn't even close to being ready. It technically started an hour ago, but I haven't had the motivation to pull myself out of bed yet. I haven't heard from Ashton since he'd accidentally read that Luke loved me and stormed out of my house the other day, so I was banking on seeing him tonight.

      If it wasn't for the fact that he said he'd see me at the party, I wouldn't have even considered going. I haven't spoken to Luke since reading his confession, but knew that he would be coming as soon as he lands tonight after texting our friend's group chat that he would be in attendance.

     His message only received acknowledgment from Michael and Calum, leaving Ashton and I with nothing to say. I hadn't told either of them anything yet because I still wasn't ready to deal with the onslaught of 'I told you so's' to come.

      And then there was that voice in the back of my head that's haunted me from the moment I read those three little words:

     I love you.

     Luke loves me. I didn't know what to think. I was mad, and confused, but... excited? I couldn't believe that even after I told Luke we needed to stay friends, he went ahead and wrote that anyway. But it also made me realize that maybe his feelings weren't fleeting, and that he must be pretty serious—which for some reason is causing me even more stress, because as much as I'm trying to avoid it, there was something about Luke's confession that made my heart flutter at the fact he loves me. However this also sent a million more questions into orbit.

     Did I love him? What about Ashton, what do I do about Ashton?

     Truth be told, I've never really been in love before. Or at least I don't think I have. I've amassed two boyfriends in my nineteen years on this planet, Ashton being the first serious one. Though, I don't know if I've ever truly been in love. I never quite knew what it was supposed to feel like, but I know that what I feel for Ashton is real, so that means I must love him, right? At the same time, he has yet to tell me he loves me either, so maybe I'm just putting too much pressure on myself. I know he hasn't had a real girlfriend before me, and I've been using that as an excuse for a while, but now it's been months and I've found myself wondering if he'll ever say it at all.

     Shouldn't one of us have said it by now? What the hell are the rules for this kind of stuff?

     I'm still unsure of how I'm going to handle things with Luke, but for now my main priority was Ashton. And that meant getting my ass in the shower and ready for this party.

     After a very quick rinse, I dried myself off before digging through my closet for the black sequined tube top I'd been saving for tonight's festivities. Since it snowed earlier today, I decided that I wasn't even going to attempt wearing a skirt tonight. I opted for dark black mom jeans with black boots.

     Making my way to the mirror on my desk, I decided to leave my hair down in its naturally wavy state. I applied my usual makeup, which consisted of concealer, blush, bronzer and eyeliner, topping off my look with a sheer red lip gloss and some mascara. I stared at my reflection for a moment before thinking. Making sure I was still good on time, I dug through my makeup before taking out silver body glitter. I dipped my finger into the container before taking some of the glitter and carefully patting it onto my eyelids. I smiled at myself, content with the final results as I got ready to leave. It was just about nine o'clock, so I really had to get moving.