I woke up to my alarm going off. Last nights flashbacks started going coming up in my mind and I felt sick. It felt unreal. All of it. I fell asleep last night right after the call ended. In the clothes I got engaded in. I stil smelled like Alexander. Smelling the perfume made my stomach flip. I went to the bathroom and started throwing up. I was shaking as if I was having a fever. But I held up. I was breaking inside, my heart was aching in pain. But I refused to believe any of this was real. It can't just end like this. This isn't a children's game.
I got dressed in my usual school attire and just, went. I didn't allow myself to feel anything. I was afraid of the things I would feel. It's not real. Just try not to think about it. It will all get better. I was reassuring myself of that the whole day, and I survived. I was fine from the outside. But I was falling apart inside.
Something inside of me, they say weighs twenty-two grams, they call a soul, took over my whole body and was heavier than my whole self. My own soul will be the death of me. I didn't know love had to hurt like this. Is it love if it hurts this much?
A few days went by. I got just one text from Alexander asking me if I'm okay. Nothing else. I told him I was, but really I wasn't. Sam and Elena were there a lot, they haven't let me sleep alone even for a night since the breakup. They want to take my mind off of him. And I'm so thankful for that.
I left class early, waiting for Alexander to pass by this gas stop for coffee. He always does so I figured I'll find him here. I saw a familiar car pull up in the parking lot and I took a deep breath, and started walking to it.
He got out of the car and when his eyes locked with mine they widened. He opened his mouth and started stuttering a bit. I've never seen him more confsed in my whole life of knowing him.
¨Hi. How are you. What are you doing here?¨I smiled gently at him. ¨I just came to give this back to you. ¨ I said and held out the ring for him. When he saw what I was holding his eyes hardened. He closed my hand and pressed his forehead onto mine. ¨Keep it. And wait for me.¨ with that he got into his car without even looking at me again and drove away.
YOU ARE READING
Memoir
Romance¨Everywhere life gets me, every time I convince myself I've forgotten about you, God makes sure I know you are still a part of me. Where ever I run, I will always trip on you and fall head first.¨ Alicia was just a scared, insecure girl who knew not...
