Harry chooses chaos

A Magical First Term

Harry was enjoying most of his lessons so far. Except for potions. Snape was a slimy greasy git who had a particular affinity for bad flower language about deep regret, death, sorrow and lilies. Perhaps Snape was in love with his mother, Lily. A potential blackmail over any of his teachers could be fun. Harry didn't know for quite what yet.

Flying was also quite eventful. Neville had to de taken to the hospital wing, and Malfoy stole his remembrall when he was gone. Before Harry could distract Malfoy with more phone lessons, he managed to chuck the ball. Harry reacting purely on instinct jumped on his broom and caught the ball. Albeit mid dive but if magic could fix broken bones, he was sure it could fix a broken spine. Hey, wait a second it could even fix eyesi - Mr Potter! What are you doing?" McGonagall yelled appearing out of nowhere. "Come with me now!" Harry ducked his head and followed the professor to a random classroom. She stuck her head in and asked the professor for wood. Harry suddenly thought that this backward wizarding word might still use physical beatings as a punishment and he might be in real trouble. Well, he could always try to sue as surely it would leave a scar. Harry was also quite relieved when a boy walked out. Wood not wood. But Harry's confusion only grew as he had no clue what another student could help with his punishment. McGonagall turned to Wood and declared "I found your new seeker." Harry suddenly realised he wasn't being punished at all but still. But he is also pretty sure that first years weren't allowed brooms thanks to a certain Slytherin but you know what. Harry likes sport and dislikes rules so works for him.

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After Harry's sick new Firebolt was delivered Malfoy challenged him to a wizard duel. Well that's what he proclaimed but Harry thought he wanted more phone time. Jesus, Harry would have to get him to buy one of his own. You know, stop the spread of anti-muggle opinions with aggressive phone use. It also turned out that somebody had reported the "duel" to Filch. That ended in Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Malfoy running through Hogwarts trying to avoid Filch and Mrs Norris. It did seem that Malfoy wanted to discuss phones and was quite surprised when Filch turned up. Ron had just started looking at a trophy too for some guy called Jim? Tim? Riddle? The five desperately ran through the halls before they came to a locked door. Harry rattled it and  said "I don't think we have time to pick the lock." Hermione, smart lass, said "move! Alohomora!" That did the trick and the door swung open. The group sprinted in and closed the door to avoid getting caught. Harry thought phew, home safe. He was wrong. Ron whimpered "guys. Turn around." The group stared in shock at the massive three headed dog in front of them. Neville whispered "what do we do? We can't run yet. Filch will catch us. But we can't stay either." Malfoy also mumbled "just stay back I have an idea." He raised his wand and whispered "tranquillitas." The beast seemed to calm down with the incantation and allowed the five of them to leave. The four Gryffindors turned to look at the Slytherin and Hermione asked "what spell was that?" Harry was thinking that a massive denta-stick would work well too. Malfoy replied "it was just a simple calming spell. Never done it myself but I have seen my mother use it a few times." Harry then piped up, "wonder what was under the trapdoor it was guarding?" The rest turned to him and Ron said "you noticed that?" They whipped around as they heard a noise. Malfoy turned to Harry "We should get back to our common rooms before we get caught. I still expect that information though." He strolled off towards the dungeons.

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The troll wasn't in the dungeons. It was in the girls bathroom. Harry and Ron were cheering that they trapped it in a room. They then realised Hermione was in there. The two ran back to the bathroom. They burst in on the troll cornering Hermione below a sink. Harry yelled "oy stinky! Over here!" in an attempt to draw the creature away from Hermione. Harry had an idea. "Ron get ready to levitate that club into him! Hermione, get out the way!" The other two sent him confused looks. Harry sprinted round the troll and came to a stop. It couldn't see Ron now. Soon it wouldn't see anything. For a bit at least. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out his handy dandy phone. "Say cheese!" Harry quipped. He took a photo of the creature. With the flash on. Hermione gasped in understanding. Ron played his part perfectly with a "wingardium leviosa." The troll was knocked out. A trio of professor hurled in, panting for breath. Harry was quick to pocket his phone. He wanted to keep it after all. Professor McGonagall was first to speak, "Mr Potter! Mr Weasley! What were you thinking?" Before Harry could answer a more bossy voice chimed in, "Professor, don't punish them. They were coming to get me. I thought I could try to take on the mountain troll. They tried to stop me and ended up saving me. Punish me instead." Hermione hung her head in shame. Ron and Harry gapped in shock. Professor McGonagall look down at Hermione, "Miss Granger, I did not expect this from you. 50 points from Gryffindor. As for you two," she turned to look at the boys, " 50 points each to Gryffindor. Not many first year students could take on a fully grown mountain troll and live to tell the tale." Ron and Harry beamed at each other. McGonagall sighed and shooed them off. The trio walked out together. A new friendship was born that day.

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It was Harry's first quidditch game. He had learnt of all the rules and how to play. He had to catch the snitch in order for his team to win. That's pretty much it. Seeker is really the only player that matters when it comes down to it. Harry was also pretty sure that his broom was not supposed to try to throw him off. Harry clung to the bucking object with all his might. Harry was suddenly reminded of horse riding. He had an idea. Harry pulled a piece of cord of his coat and unsteadily wrapped it around his broom. He then pulled. Hard. The broom came to a stand still for a moment. Long enough for Harry to see the snitch above him. The only way to end the game was to catch it. You can't say Harry wasn't dedicated. Harry stretched up and caught it in his mouth. The teachers levitated his broom done now it was under control. The stadium went wild as Harry showed them the snitch. Hermione and Ron were not so impressed. They had saw Snape muttering something and decided to set his cloak on fire. He was cursing the broom to kill Harry. Harry was livid. Sure, Snape obviously had a vendetta against him but a teacher attempting to kill a student was unbelievable. No one would believe it despite Hermione and Ron's accounts. Like his Aunt Petunia said, in order to prove gossip you need evidence.

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It was Christmas morning and Harry was lying in bed reflecting on what he got everybody whilst waiting for Ron to wake up. Ron almost snored as bad as Dudley. Harry had bought Uncle Vernon an all the tools in one card thingamajig, Aunt Petunia a nice umbrella that was enchanted to never break, and Dudley got a set of magical sweets including Bertie Botts and some chocolate frogs (with a warning of it moves). As for his friends he bought Hermione a cloth bound version of Hogwarts: A History, Ron got a Chuddley Canons jumper, Neville got a set of grow your own cacti, and Malfoy got a book called How to Recognise a Cult and How to Leave it and its Views Behind. All very fitting presents Harry thought. Ron finally woke up and Harry pulled apart his curtains to a slightly bigger pile of presents than he thought. From his family he received a fishing net (Harry was very curious about the lake and told Dudley so in their weekly phone calls), a all in one pocket knife, a crate of Reece's Pieces assorted candy, and as requested three massive denta-sticks. Ron got him a book on quidditch and Mrs Weasley got him a lovely sweater with a H on it and some homemade fudge. Hagrid gave him a little flute. Harry had been spending some time with the groundskeeper and found his animals fascinating. Hermione bought him a revision timetable, Neville got him a lovely little painted pot, and Malfoy got him a little silver bracelet with a lion on it. Probably stands for Gryffindor or potentially the non-anglicised spelling of his name, Hari. Harry went by Harry though at school because the adoption centre mixed up the pages when his Aunt and Uncle adopted him. Most curious of Harry's present though was an invisibility cloak. After Ron and him finished freaking out, they went downstairs to do various Christmas activities with the other Weasley's, such as hitting the back of Quirell's turban with snowballs. Harry could have sworn he heard muttered grunting from it. Maybe Quirell had bats in there to ward away vampires instead of garlic as rumoured.

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Tranquillitas is Latin for calm and is not a real spell. How to Recognise a Cult and Leave it and it's Views Behind is also not a real book. I think.