For so long I was scared to tell anyone, to go against my abuser and speak up. In this poetry book Sarah is done living silent and is documenting their healing process: the ugly, the angry, the messy, the joy, love after trauma and everything in-bet...
You taught me what love was like And even though my feelings were the only ones stayed We stood by each other through a hurricane You were there after I reported my sexual assault You were there when I lost my first pet You were there when I came out And I was there when you couldn't eat And I held your dying body You were sleeping in my arms and I told you were beautiful over and over again I hoped some part of you would hear it and confuse it as your own thought
You were my best friend You were like home to me You saved my life And I'll always be greatful for every minute I spent with you
But now we're like oil and water We don't quite mix Because I loved you You created butterfly's that felt like hawks
And you felt the same for awhile but as quick as it came it left And even thought for two years I tried to get you to feel the same way
I know you were incapable of loving me the way I loved you
We have both changed
We have grown
And being around you doesn't feel like it used to
I'll always love you And if a year down the road you called me and said u needed me I would drive to your house and hug you Cause you will always be my person
Even if your not my best friend anymore
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I never once thought i would compare my heart to a forest fire That was until you Warm, spreading and growing as if each sentence you speak is gasoline, it's hard to breath you can't help but notice the feeling
You make my heart feel like a forest fire If the forest fire was the best possible thing U are the best possible thing
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I'm not your type I'm not a natural blonde I'm not bubbly Like she is I can't laugh and find something to talk about with everyone I'm not someone everyone knows That everyone likes I'm not straight I'm not effortlessly perfect I'm complicated I present myself as someone more annoying than I really am You like her Someone who rejected you Someone who couldn't give a shit about you That's your type
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Little things I'm looking for any sign Any gesture That you might somehow want me I read into everything Every page every punctuation Looking for a clue A clue I end up creating That was never really there
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Sweet words New worlds A side to you I just discovered Tender and sweet U appeared to be but your just a guy Drunk and love torn Looking for a distraction Who'll be forgotten by morning A new world we entered together But you have no recollection These memory's are just for me A side to you, I wasn't meant to see
