Emotions

53. Night to remember

A drunken night , slurred and intoxicated picking up the phone with a struggle

The screen lighting up as his face grimaced at the bright light

He squints his eyes and smiles in bitterness as he scrolls and sees his ex name on his chats

He taps it and frowns at their last messages , phone drops from his hands as he shakily runs his hands through his head

Questions like "why" fleets across his mind only to be covered by series of headaches

He takes a huge gulp of the vodka his throat burning as he lightly coughs

He looks at the phone on the ground and just sighs as tears begin to fall

He questions the universe , the gods , God anything

Why nothing seems to work his way
Why he can't just be happy for long
Why can't he just find love
Why must everything leave him

He stands albeit a struggle and drags his feet to lay on his bed

He remembers ,
the same bed they had their late night talks ,
same bed they had their first cuddles
Same bed they had their first night together

Her laughter seemingly echoing in response so clear almost like she was beside him

He curls himself to almost shield himself from the pain and sorrow around him

His own room thought to be a safe haven now a living hell of all his pain repeated in a never ending cycle

He gulps again stopping half way finding the bottle empty

And suddenly rage comes and then just as suddenly as it come it leaves

He chuckles , aware of how similar she left as his anger left

Unexpected and out of the blue

Now feeling void in his chest he struggles to breathe
Now hyperventilating and panicking
Looking for oxygen feeling as if it suddenly vanishes

To scared to even think

Then calm comes and

Then a thought flashes

If only i could disappear , just sleep and never to awaken

"I guess this really did a number on me"

He says as he drifts to sleep.

The only place where he couldn't be hurt

His dreams