The Henchmaniacs

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Going from one universe to the next is extremely disorientating. I stumble in place, the world of red and floating lands where gaps lead to an abyss spinning around me. I close my eyes and wait for my dizziness to go away before I soak in the landscape before me.

Once I get a good look at it, the Nightmare Realm is actually a beautiful place. There are more shades of red than I ever imaged would be possible, and the landscape has no order to it. So many unique people roam around, mainly being cruel to each other. I notice that more and more of them are slowly turning their attention towards me. A place seemingly so loud becomes quiet. I look at them as they stare at me. They almost seem as though they are in awe.

"There's a human in the Nightmare realm!" A demon exclaims, "I'm going to eat it!"

"Wait, look at its finger. It looks like it's wearing Bill's Blessing!" Another demon declares.

"Bah! All who claimed to have Bill's Blessing were liars, liars, liars!" The first demon says. The next thing I know it, a flash of darkness try to hit me, but then my ring absorbs it. Demons scream in both awe and shock as they realize just what they witness. I look at my ring in awe. Even when I am far away, I am never truly apart from Bill. I look up and see the demons starting to give chase, screeching about the power I hold. I run. Unfortunately, the demons are quick to start circling me.

"Hey! Dummy! Over here!" A vaguely familiar voice shouts out. I follow the voice in my panic to a place concealed. I look around at all the strange shapes and faces. 8-Ball, Keyhole, Teeth, all of Bill's old pack! Pyronica is quick to put a shield back around their home.

"Aye! The Henchmaniacs! How's my favorite gang of demons doing?" I grin and give Xanthar's leg a noogie.

"Having a reunion that Bill failed to RSVP," Pyronica huffs, "Something's not right, he never misses a party with us. But the more important question is...

"WHAT IS BILL'S FRAGILE MORTAL HUMAN PARTNER DOING IN THE NIGHTMARE REALM WHERE YOU CAN EASILY DIE!?!?" I cover my ears and take a few steps back as Pyronica's flames flare up.

"Woah! Cool it, hot stuff!" I pause for a moment then chortle, "Wow, I've been hanging out with Bill too much. Well, anyways, I'm off to meet with the Axolotl, actually. I'm hoping that they will turn me into a demon like Bill, so I won't die and he loses his mind from watching his spouse age out." 

"Woah- slow down- spouse?" Pyronica asks.

"Yup! Just married!" I say. 

"You two had a human wedding, and you didn't invite us!?" Pyronica asks.

"We kinda figured you guys wouldn't be interested in such human traditions. Heck, pretty sure Bill only did it more as a way to make me happy than out of any actual interest in weddings."

"Well, punk," Pyronica scowls at me, "We henchmaniacs may burn babies alive, eat the souls of the innocent, tear each other apart piece by piece for selfish entertainment, but we are friends. We still support and care for each other. We most definitely would've come to your human wedding, and most importantly, follow whatever pointless rules you had in place. We may be monsters, yes, but we are still intelligent people." She flips her hair as a way to punctuate her rant. The rest of the gang nod their heads, or equivalent to heads, in agreement.

"Oh- oh dear, I am truly sorry," I look at all the odd shapes before me, "Bill has only told me the monstrous side of his friends, since it's his favorite side of you guys. It just never crossed my mind that it may not have been the full story."

"Sounds like he's trying to keep you out of the group!"

"In all fairness," The binky-suckling one speaks up in his deep voice, "Our games would kill the human, and if they manage to survive, they would never mentally recover."

"You really think we wouldn't accommodate for the love of Bill's life!?" Pyronica smacks Paci-fire upside the head, "Of course we would! Cross Bill, and you'd be lucky to never exist again, especially if you destroy the one thing he gave some of his blood to and married!" Pyronica sighs and gets her composure back, "Right, you said something else. Something about becoming a demon, hm?" I nod my head.

"I am unsure if even the Axolotl could do it, but they are all-powerful," Pyronica looks off into the distant void, "So it is worth a shot. You do have a long way to go, though, as you're starting at the very outskirts of the Axolotol's multiverse domain, and you need to reach the heart of it. We'll help you find the right path, then we'll find your Earth and I'll make sure Bill's human form's skull is smashed in for giving you the impression that we're shitty friends. Oh- but please don't stress yourself over the lethal injuries I'll give him. As long as the body is fake, he can fix it in a snap."

"Okay." In all honestly, beating up Bill like he's a punching bag sounds quite fun, especially if he can easily repair himself. Such thoughts are a distraction, though. I watch Pyronica take down the forcefield once again and step out.

"Ugh, I missed it when Bill lived here," Pyronica whines, "He was top of the pecking order. Nobody dared to mess with him or us. But now we gotta sneak around, and that's going to take forever."

"Well, if you're going to be like that," I head to the front of the group, "Just tell me where to turn. I'll lead."

"But-"

I tap my ring, "I have literal plot armor, Pyronica, this thing seems to absorb magic." Pyronica crosses her arms, flips her hair, and pouts. I take it as a win and begin walking, changing directions whenever Pyronica begrudgingly says "wrong way," "left," or "right." The journey seems to go smoothly with demons leaving us alone. Well, it goes smoothly up until we make it to my stop. 

An entire big pack of various shapes and sizes stand between me and the dark green rift. Pyronica shoves to stand between me and the demons, her magenta flames flaring into a size much larger and a heat much hotter than they normally are. I take a step back so I won't end up with burns just from being within her proximity. The largest of the opposing demons appears to just be a mass of interlocking red muscles, and they are very much the leader of the pack he has gathered to block the way.

"Let us through, Meathead!" Pyronica shouts.

"We will not cause you any trouble if you just give us the Blessing," Meathead chuckles lowly. He glares down at me. I don't feel too intimidated, after all, the demon can't actually hurt me. At least, that is what I have to keep reminding myself.

"It really would be so much easier to get out of the way of the Henchmaniacs," Pyronica says with a faux sweetness, "But I suppose we must play your little game." The rest of the gang chuckles darkly. Meathead roars out and both groups of demons begin to fight. I stand in the middle of the chaos, demons using their powers to either damage or bring mental anguish to one another. Nobody is paying attention to me. I take my chance to run towards the rift. A demon steps between me and the five steps that would take me out of the nightmare realm. The small demon reaches out with his stubby hands and grab on tightly. He uses his hand to pull at the ring.

I throw my free hand behind me, and end up smacking the demon right on the nostrils. He staggers back and his grip loosens. I pull myself from the demon and shove him with all my might. I knock him down and run straight through the rift.

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