Flora (Dark Romance)

30

Chapter 30// Friends with Benefits

Goodbye, Flora.

Those words were seared into Flora's brain. They were branded in her mind.

Goodbye, Flora.

It felt like he reached into her chest and ripped out her heart.

Goodbye, Flora.

Now there was an empty void where it once was.

Despite Flora's devastation, and the bit of anger she had towards Alex, above all, she was worried.

She couldn't tear her mind from the drugs she saw in his apartment. Alex didn't talk much about his past, but Flora knew he struggled with addiction after his mother died. Whenever he spoke about her his entire face lit up, even if he was speaking about the most mundane of things, like her favorite flower — which were hydrangeas. Flora didn't know Alex when he lost his mother, but she could only imagine the heartache it caused him.

She wished she was there for him then, and she wished she could be there for him now. She knew by the look in his eyes yesterday that he was hurting, and she spent the entire night worried he might turn to drugs again to numb his pain.

As much as she wanted to give him his space, she couldn't swallow the nerves that were stuck in her throat. She would never forgive herself if Alex reverted back to his old habits. Which is why, before she could even process what she was about to do, Flora grabbed the keys off the counter and drove to Alex.

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Flora stood in front of his apartment door again.

She felt like she had been in this predicament a lot lately. Her standing in front of his door and afraid to knock. Only this time, she wasn't exactly sure why she was there. She felt like he needed her, and she needed him, and here she was.

"Flora?" Alex spoke softly, before regaining his hard exterior, "what're you doing here?"

Flora sighed at his quick change in demeanour. For a split second she thought he might have forgiven her, but his quick change in attitude washed all of her hope away.

What Flora didn't know, though, was that Alex wasn't angry at her. At first, sure, he was pissed. He felt like she betrayed him in the worst way possible. However, after hearing her explain it all yesterday, he was only mad at himself. He hated how he made her cry, and he knew, in that moment, that he wasn't good enough for her — he never would be.

"I just wanted to see you," Flora was surprised by her own honesty. It was completely true. She just needed to see his face, and even if he slammed the door shut right now, it would've been worth it.

Alex sighed, running a bruised hand through his hair, "you shouldn't be here."

Standing face-to-face in his doorway made Alex realize how small she was. He stood about a foot taller than her and much wider. It made him feel that much more protective of her, and it made him loathe himself even more for abandoning his role as her protector. In Alex's mind, though, this was his version of protecting her.

The best way he knew how to protect Flora, was to leave Flora.

They stared at eachother for just a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Looking into each other's eyes always felt like home. Flora's favorite color was the blueness of his eyes, and Alex's favorite color was the hazel-ness of her's.

Flora thought about the softness in the way he looked at her. She thought about how his gaze was so gentle it was like he was scared he could harm her with just a look. Alex thought about how badly he wanted to kiss her in that moment.