Keeping the Nightmares at Bay

Moving Towards Healing

The beeping of the computer woke them hours later. It informed them that they had not, in fact, remembered to set their alarm and so had overslept. Their shift on the bridge was starting in less than half an hour.

They scrambled out of bed to shower and dress. They barely had time to scarf down something to eat in an undignified manner on the way to the bridge.

With the bond now acknowledged and strengthened through sex, Jim realized that if he concentrated, he could almost feel the weight of it in the back of his mind. He grinned at the thought and took Spocks hand in his.

In the wake of this strengthening bond, they both found it incredibly difficult to keep their hands off of each other. So, in the turbo lift on the way to the bridge, they kept in constant physical contact with each other. Holding hands, a couple quick stolen kisses. They only parted when they absolutely had to, seconds before the door opened onto the bridge.

The doors slid open, and they stepped out. Jim made his way directly to the Captain's chair and Spock to his station. Jim found it difficult to turn his back to Spock as he sat down. Now that he had Spock, it felt like some kind of mental torture to be apart from him. To not be able to touch and be touched. He knew that was just the new strength of the bond talking, and it would get better with time. Unfortunately, knowing didn't seem to make it any easier.

He was jittery. His fingers tapped on the arm rests of his chair. His leg bounced. The crew eyed him questioningly. A few whispered to each other. He felt nervous, he couldn't help it. It just didn't feel right that he couldn't see or touch Spock.

Then, suddenly, there was a small, almost imperceptible, affectionate warmth in the back of his mind. It slowly but steadily expanded further throughout his mind like a mental hug. A contented smile spread over Jim's face. Spock.

He turned around in his chair to look at his love. He found Spock looking back, his eyes full of love and understanding. Jim turned back around and settled into his chair. Having been comforted by Spocks, however small, presence in his mind, he was finally able to calm himself and get to work.

********

The rest of the shift was relatively uneventful. Their were curious looks from the bridge crew, who could tell something was up but had no clue what it was. But besides that, everything went smoothly.

As soon as his shift was over and he handed off command, Jim booked it back to his room to wait for Spock. Spock stayed behind for a few moments who had been held up temporarily by some reports. Jim sat on his bed, practically vibrating with anticipation.

He had wanted Spock for years, loved him from afar, completely sure that Spock would never want him too. And now he had Spock. Hell, they were practically engaged by Vulcan standards! He could hardly wait to have him to himself again. To kiss him. To hold him. To cuddle in his arms. The minutes seemed to drag by.

Finally, after what seemed like hours to Jim's mind, the door beeped, alerting him to a visitor. Then, on his command, it opened to reveal Spock.

Jim practically threw himself at Spock, almost before he had even entered the room. Spock caught him easily, lifting him up into his arms. Jim wrapped his legs around Spocks waist to steady himself. Spock smiled at him indulgently as he carried him to the bed.

Laying him down with utmost gentleness, Spock toed off his shoes and pulled off his shirt. That done, he cuddled up beside him, his body curled around Jim's in an almost protective manner. They lay there for some minutes. All snuggled up together, peppering each other's bodies with soft kisses.

After some time, a thought flitted into Jim's mind, shattering the peace of the moment. He hesitated, then cleared his throat and tentatively spoke. "Spock. Yesterday I told you that we would talk about what upset me later. Do you want to do that now?"