𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚣𝚎𝚗 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗 <𝟹𝟹

𝟶𝟹 - 𝚒 𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚞𝚜

An hour later, we're out the house and aimlessly walking around the indoor swap meet on Santa Monica Boulevard. We abandoned Livvy's older brother Jaxon at home with Jules and Ma. Cuz fuck Jaxy-waxy. I love the boy. Don't get me wrong. But he's a little piece of shit. But I suppose he's our piece of shit so it's fiiiiiinnnnnnneeeeeeeeee. 

I swear to god. As soon as I parked and turned off the ignition, these two little fuckers got outta my black 2018 Chevy Camero like they was bats outta fucking hell or some other bullshit. Because they're so fucking sweet, they decided to fucking slam my doors as hard as they mcfucking can. I get out and glare at them. "Can you NOT break my car??"

Assless, the little fucker, rolls his eyes. 

"You little piece of shit. Keep rollin yo gawddamn eyes and they finna stay back there!"

Livvy decided that she was gonna play nice and defend Assless by telling me a joke. "Hey hey! Mae!" 

"What?" 

"Whaddya call a lesbian dinosaur?" 

"Liv, what in the flying f-" 

"A lickalotopus!" 

"... what the fuck?"

Atlas adds his opinion into it. "That sounds like you just fucked up hippopotamus. Or platypus."

"Haha. Perry the Platypus."

Livs ignores us and continues with her jokes. "Wanna know the difference between tits and toys?"

"Not fucking-"

"GREAT! They were both originally made for kids but Mae ended up playing with Ally's!"

".... I-"

Assless is cracking the fuck up. "BAHAAHAH SHE AIN'T WRONGGG THOOOO!"

I glare at him. "Shut the fuck up, dumbass. You soundin a lot like those hyenas from the Lion King."

"OOH OOH MAE!" Livvy shifts my attention from Atlas to her. Yet again.

"What, Liv?"

"Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?"

"Babe- Wha-"

"CUZ HE FINGERED A MINORRRR!"

I have to stifle my laughter and try to keep a straight face. "... okay that was fucked up but good."

"Mae, whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?"

"365-"

"One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year!"

"Livvy- NO."

Assless joins in telling jokes with Livs. "Teehee. Mae Mae! What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?"

"...What?-"

"A guy will actually look for the golf ball!"

"I- PFFFTTT I meaaannnn... You ain't wrong."

Livvy gasps, looking very scandalized. "Mae! How the fuck would you know?"

I shrug. "I fucked a guy once... As an experiment. Not gonna lie, I shoulda stopped when I kissed him."

Atlas waves his hands around. "Hol up. Hol up. Hol up. REWIND! COME AGAIN?"

Livvy couldn't resist making a joke. "Hah. That's what she said."

I corrected her on the saying. Just cuz I could. "No, Livs. That's indeed what she did. Specifically, 2 nights ago."

Atlas ignores this. "When in the fuck did this happen? and why in the fuck didn't you think to tell me?"