Well, at this point in my life, it just went downhill. The feeling that I have in my heart is that i'm just not proud of what I just became, this isn't how I wanted to become. I'm just not as proud. I have always wanted to do want is best for me, however, my heart always gets in the way. My name is Ghadir, i'm 23 years old. I have not seen any sort or kind of happiness in my life. Just pain, heartbreaking, depression, and just being upset all the time. At first, i keep telling myself that it was just that I am young and I still don't get anything and it's all an experience. But i have reached the point that i just can't go on. Thought that i can just ignore everything and go on with my life. But the bad choices have been always there and i continue to choose them. I keep breaking myself and keep going on the wrong direction and it's just not what i expected my life would look like. Deep inside me i just said i quit i have no more feelings. I simply do not care of what is going through my life. I'm lost, i'm broken into pieces. I have no direction nor a clue of what to do next in my life. It's a funny thing right after watching "After Ever Happy" seeing what is going on in Hardin's life he wrote and felt better in the end, put all his emotions and thoughts down, and wrote a book. Thought i should have a try. So many people have stuff going on in their lives, some survive it and some just does not. I always say that God has created our stories and each on is different from the other. Is it the bad decisions that we made, that caused God to not make us feel happy? Because at this point that is what is going through my mind. Is it really because of the mistakes i did that drew me to this point in my life? Or is it just meant for me not to be happy at all? I'm shattered in so many pieces that not a person that i do love or anyone out there can solve this shattered heart. I do have some laughter or a bit of happiness in my life and that is my family but you know families are good on some days and some days not so much nice and when you think they will stand with you in your difficult times but my family did and did not, they sometimes do not even feel what i feel. But mostly the heartaches the broken heart the pain in me is caused by me.
YOU ARE READING
From The Heart
Short StoryA difficult life starting at a young age learning how to live and just wants to be happy about herself and feels the peace that some people have. And still learning on how to be happy.
