From The Heart

Chapter 1

Everyone has their first love and mine was just butterflies in everyone's stomach. It all started when all my family and relatives kept saying that Ahmed and Ghadir will make the perfect couple. My family has the thing that they do when they give birth. This baby is saved for this baby and when they grow up they will get married. Already planned their future and who they will be marrying. But in the end, it's the person's choice if they want to get married. At least that is what we think we have the right to choose who we want to be with. Well, in my situation I did love Ahmed I would always wish on every chance I get. On a shooting star, birthday wish, pray that I will marry my childhood lover. My love was unconditional towards him. We grew up a bit and my parents still said we are a great couple I stuck by that and could not even think about a different person I could be with. We dated but we were in a different countries he was in Iraq and I was in America. I lived my whole life in America and we would go visit them every summer. That is the only way we could see each other and when we are together we are the best couple when the distance comes between we are nothing. We don't have the right way to communicate and I was a shy kid mostly to him. I would get shy just texting him, to the point I don't have much to say just "hello" and "how are you". We were kids and don't know much about dating life. Years passed and we are in the same relationship shy don't talk much, but I knew my love for him was real. I loved him. Years passed and we grew up but he was still in my mind and, I don't know if he did love me or if it was just a child thing to him. Broke up and never talked anymore.

In the year 2014, my family and I and relatives traveled to Iraq and my best friend/cousin was with us. Loved her so much that i don't call her a cousin, she was a sister Benin. She was my supporter and everything i could ask for in a sister, that gets me, is there whenever i needed her. We had so many sleepovers she was my shoulder to cry on. I was so happy that she and her family came with us to Iraq. She knew everything between me and Ahmed, so in my mind, she was there whenever i needed her help in getting him back. I had so much trust in her and i knew she wouldn't break it. Finally, we landed in Iraq and took the bus to the garage and there i see Ahmed waiting for us. Out of excitement I jumped from my seat and yelled Ahmed is there with joy and happiness in me. Benin out of nowhere pulls me down to my chair and said No Ghadir do not be that easy to get and be hard to get that is what boys like in a girl. Out of my love for her i did what she said, sat back down, and did not make a big deal that is there. Fast forward to a couple of weeks, found out that they are both dating. I was so angry with her and him that she knew that im trying to get him back and that i love him. He did not have a thought that i wanted to go back with him and try again.

Years have passed but i forgave her and went back to being friends. I would witness their love right in front of my eyes and i had to deal with it because what did i think we would be together and get married, so i had to bury his love deep in my heart and just don't show it to anyone. I kept moving on my life with that little so-called secret in me. He knew all along that i still have feelings for him and he knew it wouldn't go away. So i tried my best to forget him, by opening myself into new relationships. I had many relationships but none of them removed him from my heart. I had to keep on going. In the year 2016, i heard that they broke up because he caught her cheating on him. When i heard i could not hold myself into text him and telling him that i still love him. So i did i opened my heart to him once again. But he was not ready to get in a relationship because he did love her and could not forget her. So i had my closure from him and i knew that it would not happen for us to get back together so i forgot him. It would always be in my heart but at that point, i had opened my eyes and see it was just not meant to be.