Adventures of Ardhoniel (LotR fanfic)

TTE Chapter 10

The Three Earths chapter 10

Nicholas Gage, the dwarf

As soon as the lights went out, Frost was standing in a totally different place. He looked around and saw that Eruanna, The Master, and that red-headed kid Ethan. They were in the middle of a forest.

"Holy Shakespeare's Uncle Tom!! He said. "Where the Haymitch are we?"

The Master was shivering. "In the same exact spot, 100 years ago. "

"Eruanna asked, "Whatever shall we do? There's no way of getting back without a Tardis..."

Frost heard somebody yell "Halt!" Then he was laying on the ground with handcuffs before you could say what.

He looked around. Everybody else was the same way.

He rolled over and saw a guy that was about as handsome as Nicholas Cage in a blender, except this guy was about 4 feet tall and looked like he hadn't had a shower in 248 years. He had a giant grin with about 2 teeth left, and his right eye was 1 inch higher than his left one.

"Who the heck are you?" Frost asked, desperate to get out of there.

"I'm guise! and who are you and why are you trespassing?"

"Guise?" Eruanna asked. "What does that mean?"

"an external form, appearance, or manner of presentation, typically concealing the true nature of something!"

Eruanna asked, "So why are we handcuffed?"

Guise showed off his ugly smile. "Because I'm arresting you, of course! Duh! You guys are such forks.

"And why are you arresting us? " Frost asked

"Because you just appeared out of nowhere and you look suspicious."

"That's not fair!!!!" The Master looked like he was going to strangle the dwarf. "That's not a real reason!!!!"

"Sure it is! Follow me! "

Guise beaded off into the woods, looking back every 2 seconds to make sure they were following him. Frost felt like knocking the Nicholas Cage dwarf out and tying him to a tree. But that wasn't going to happen.

To pass the time, he annoyed him.

"So, Nicholas Cage. How did you turn into a two -teethed dwarf with screwed up eyeballs? Where are you taking us, a dwarf convention? "

"Shut your mouth hole! We're here. "

"Where are we? " Eruanna asked.

"The castle. "

They stepped out of the woods and right in front of them was a castle. Guise led them through the front gate, where 2 others dwarves (no less uglier than Guise) were guarding the gate. The gang went inside and the Nicholas Cage dwarf led them through the halls and into a throne room. A big fat dwarf even uglier than Guise sat on a wooden throne. He was munching on a bag of potato chips. All around the throne, there were empty candy wrappers, to-go boxes, chip bags, and soda cans. 2 other dwarves "guarded " the king, although it looked like they were napping instead of guarding. The king looked bored out of his mind.

He yawned. "Ugh. What do you want now, Guise?"

"Permission to throw these weirdos in jail?" He asked.

"Permission granted. "

"Oi!!!!" Ethan complained. "You're calling US weirdos? Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"This is not fair!" Eruanna said as Guise locked her in her jail cell. "We don't even get a court session? A trial? You're not even gonna let us explain? "

"Nope. "He said as he walked away.

"Well, that's nice of them. " Frost said as he sat down. 

"Ugh. They're soooooo lazy. " The Master said. "This isn't even a proper jail cell! There are no guards, and look!" He easily slid between the bars. Everybody else did the same.

"Okay, " Frost said, "Büt whåt dø wë dø ñøw? Wë'rë §tüçk ïñ thë øldëñ dåÿ§, wïthøüt å Tårdï§, ïñ å dïffërëñt wørld! "

"We could wait. " Eruanna suggested. "We could wait for a hundred years. I'm an Elf, and The Master is a Time Lord. We could easily wait a hundred years."

"Yeah, but what about us?" Frost complained. "We're not all magical and stuff like you guys are. "

"Actually, " Ethan said, "I'm magical too. I'm so awesome that I can live as long as I want! :)"

"Great. So that just leaves me then. "

"I'm sorry Frost. :(" Eruanna sympathised. "We can't help that you're not magical. "

"Well, what other choice do we have we have?" The Master said.

"But how do we escape?" Ethan asked.

"I'm guessing through this window. " The Master said. "We're only on the first floor. " He jumped out and the others followed.