Josie's Chronicle

Chapter 5: Wrong is inevitable

Wilamina hadn't heard from her daughter in over a week. The thought caused her sadness. She didn't rush to call her because she knew that the relationship had become fragile when she'd returned home to be with her husband after his dad died.
Josie wasn't happy about her return to an abuser. She'd tried to explain that he very rarely hit her, and when he did, it was followed by much fasting and repentance. Josie hadn't cared. She had a strong dislike for her dad, and that experience had only served to deepen the divide between father and daughter.
Wilamina put her hand in her pocket and toyed with the buttons on her phone. She wished that she still had her smart phone with its cool flat screen. She missed the pictures and the text messages. It was a connection to a world outside of the restrictive one she lived in right now. The phone was lost, missing from where she'd placed it as she'd napped a day after she'd returned.
She knew that her husband had it. She also knew that he couldn't do anything with it except to answer a call. Josie's friend Valerie had placed a two-step security lock on it. The thought of him trying to get into her phone forced a giggle from her that could have been mistaken for a very loud laugh. She was alone, so that made her sound crazy. Wilamina allowed herself a round of healthy laughter.

Wiping tears from her eyes, she got herself a glass of water. Laughter is indeed good, very good for the soul. Opening the refrigerator also reminded her that she hadn't yet started supper, which in this home was the meal prepared to tide one over until dinner was done. Dinner would be served around 9 pm. So that no one went to sleep with any hint of hunger.
It hadn't been that way with Jay n Josie. They'd eaten what they wanted, when they wanted and almost never sat together, unless it was Saturday, the Sabbath. That was family time for her, and her family had honored that while she was with them. She felt the pang of missing them sneak into her thoughts. She also thought about the grandchild she'd never know. Her thoughts led her back to when Josie had been born, how she'd thought it was a boy at first, before her took the child outside, away from her. It had been almost two months before he'd brought the child to her. He believed breastfeeding to be vulgar and lazy and didn't want her to be tempted. He also didn't want her to become attached to what was obviously, in his words, a gift to him.
He made up the 7eleven story the night he'd brought her home. She remembered that Josie was fat and healthy. She had dark curly hair, and her skin was a warm copper color, like hers. There didn't seem to be any portion of her husband in their child. He didn't appear to mind. He was only concerned with her chastity. He wanted her to be pure in the eyes of God and her husband. She wasn't allowed to play with boys after she turned nine, and he'd only agreed to allow her to go on the spiritual retreat because he had gone when he'd turned 14.
Wilamina had never been. She wasn't born into the community as he'd told everyone. She shook her head, hating that much of her life with him was built on lies.
She hated lying to Josie. It was her plan to tell her the truth before the end of the year. Now she wasn't so certain.

Her parents had never liked Joe. They'd found him odd and harsh, still did. They didn't even try to bring him into the family. She sighed deeply. Back then, she'd thought it was a race thing. Well, that was a wrong assumption on her part. He had never voiced his concerns about their not embracing him. Nor had he ever tried to keep Josie from them. He felt that he'd placed in Josie his ideals and beliefs. He had been fully confident that she would not stray from her upbringing.
Wilamina giggled again. All of that had gone out of the window at the retreat.

"Chopping vegetables make you so happy that you giggle?" Joe said from behind her. "Should I go buy my lovely wife more vegetables, or is it the knives?" He asked playfully, winking at her.
She smiled back at him. This was the man she'd married. She liked this side of him. He wasn't this way, often. She put down the knife and walked towards him. He opened his arms, and she placed her forehead on his chest. He chuckled. "My beautiful wife." He said almost in a whisper, lifting her chin. "Are you thinking about another man?"
Wilamina smiled. She stepped back and looked at him. It was difficult to tell if he was joking or not nowadays.
Joe stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her full on the mouth, so passionately that Wilamina was surprised. Those kisses from him had become possible only in the bedroom. She sighed. After the kiss, he placed his cheek against hers and whispered in her ear, "Have you heard from our daughter? Is she OK? I'm curious about her life." He said, stepping around her to grab a carrot from the counter.
Wilamina thought about her answer. "I haven't heard from her since she called to say that she was going on assignment for her job. Puerto Rico, I think. She's gonna be gone until the interviews are done."
She returned to chopping vegetables. Lying didn't come naturally to her, even after all this time.
Joe put his hand on top of her chopping hand. "Well, wife, let's go out to eat tonight. We haven't done that for quite some time. I want a steak and some potatoes. "
Wilamina squinted. "Have you been drinking, sir?" She said, placing her hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"
Joe took a small bite of carrot. "I'm serious wife. Let's go."
Wilamina giggled. He kissed her again, deep and slow. He allowed his hand to grip her right butt cheek and pulled her tightly against him. This caused her body to respond in ways it hadn't in a very long time. And yet she could tell he wasn't aroused.
She could smell the raw earthiness of him, and it caused her to swoon. He stopped kissing her and wrapped both arms around her, pinning her body to his. Burying his face between her shoulder and chin, he bit her playfully, undoing her head wrap with his free hand. She felt her braids tumble down her back. She heard him moan softly.
She was all of a sudden frightened, unsure of what was happening. She placed her hands on his chest and took a step backward. "Husband, what's come over you?" She asked, trying hard to keep the fear from her tone.
Joe looked at her with amusement on his face. He squinted. "Has it been that long, wife?" He was now looking at her intently. The expression on his face changed instantly.
She smiled. "No, it's just that you said you wanted a steak, and if we continue to do what we were doing, you won't get your steak."
Joe smiled.
"You, my wife, are ever the diplomat."
Wilamina couldn't put it out of her mind. Something had changed. The only thing to do now was to brace herself. The change was too, too drastic. Everything that had happened in the kitchen, Joe had said all too often, was meant for the bedroom. Any place else was vulgar.
Wilamina didn't have much of an appetite, but she knew she had to feign hunger or risk Joe's anger.

The thirty minute drive had been fun. Joe was very talkative, which was disconcerting. It was as if whatever had been possessing her husband's body was suddenly gone. He was once again the man she'd fallen in love with. She was surprised by his hand resting on her thigh. It was all so very odd. She struggled with trying not to seem weirded out by how he was acting.
He'd walked around the car, opened her door and held out his hand to help her out the car, and didn't release her hand until they'd gotten to the door.
He was smiling and speaking happily about something he'd heard while working.
"Wife," Joe said almost too calmly. When were you going to tell me that Josie is with child?"
Wilamina froze. "With child?!?" Wilamina was completely alarmed now. "With child!?!?" She repeated. "How...?"
"Did I find out...? Joe said, finishing her question. "A detective told me. It seems that someone named Valerie is missing, and they're speaking with everyone about it."
Wilamina sat staring at her husband. She was dumbfounded! "With child." She repeated. Stunned that her husband had said the words without anger.
Joe pulled out her chair and then sat down.
"Wife, it appears that you didn't know, either. I apologize for throwing that out at you. I'd thought she'd told you."
"Wait... what?" Wilamina stared at her husband. "A detective?"
Joe nodded. "I heard an odd sound coming from the stack of towels in the linen closet and voila!" He winked and pushed her smartphone across the table to her. I know you've been looking for this. Wilamina was stunned. Yes, she'd known her daughter was pregnant, but they were never going to tell Joe any of the details. She looked up when the waiter greeted them. Joe ordered for them and reached out for her hands across the table.
Smiling brightly, he lowered his voice and apologized. "I regret saying any of that to you in that way, wife." He squeezed her hands before letting go of them.
She stared at her husband. She was now even more afraid.