The Sound of Silence

4

A few days have passed by. Meredith mainly spend her days with her kids on the couch, where she was safe, where no one would hurt them

Alex, Amelia and Maggie have been taking turns in who was about to stay with them but today Zola and Bailey were about to return to school and Meredith felt even more useless

"Bailey, did you grab your bag?" Maggie asks, she's here to pick up the kids

"I did." Bailey nods and runs towards his aunt

"Great job, buddy. Now aunt Maggie will help you with your shoes and jacket." Alex tells the boy.

Alex then walked to where Zola and Meredith are sitting on the couch, the little girl is putting on her shoes while she and Meredith have a conversation

"I'll miss you." Zola quietly tells her mom

"I'll miss you too. Maybe we can do something when you and Bailey come home? What would you like to do?" Meredith asks

"Dunno." Zola shrugged. She knows what she wants to do but all those things involve activities or interactions and Zola knows her mom isn't ready for that

"Maybe we can watch a movie." Meredith suggests and kisses her daughter's head, then resting back against the pillow

"Zola!" Maggie calls out

"Coming! Bye mom." Zola stands up and gives her mom a quick kiss, then running to the hallway where Maggie and Bailey are waiting for her

"Bye munchkins. Goodluck at school." Alex smiles proudly of them, watching them get in Maggie's car

Alex walks back to Meredith once the car was out of the street

"Have they left already?" Meredith asks her friend

"Yes, they'll be back in a few hours." Alex nods and takes a seat next to her. "Are you okay?" He frowns, not used to seeing his best friend like this

"Alex-" Meredith whimpers, breaking out in sobs which hurt her body but she finally allows herself to open up to Alex

"Mer, come here." Alex pulls her carefully in his arms and hugs her close. "Everything will be okay eventually." He promises her, she has been through so much, there's no way she wouldn't get through this

The main question is how this will change her

"I miss Derek so much.." She quietly admits

"I know.." Alex sighs, not knowing how to help his best friend

"I feel so empty without him. When I found out he kissed that woman I thought we'd divorce. I would have to live without him, but at least the kids would still have their dads. But when he came home and we talked it all out- he was even quitting that job.." Meredith tells him, her voice raw and pure, for the first time she really opened up about this

"But he never did.." Alex sighs, he wasn't a fan of Derek at first but once they got married, went through love, loss and tragedy together he had to admit he loved the McFamily

"He never did. He never even knew I got pregnant. I like to believe he knew.." Meredith tells her best friend

She feels Alex's hand rubbing her shoulder in comfort and closes her eyes finally

"I bet he knows. And he's with you and the kids, in your hearts.." Alex sounds so soft, knowing Meredith put a lot of value in talking to the kids about their dad

"I hope.." Meredith whispers, her usually rational brain not agreeing to this but it brought her so much comfort thinking he was somehow watching his kids grow up

...

The next morning Meredith opens her eyes ans sees Alex sitting next to her

"Hi, good morning. The kids will wake up any moment, can I send them here while I get Ellis and breakfast ready?" Alex asks her

"Sure.." Meredith nods, still trying to sort of wake up

"Mer?" Alex frowns

"Yeah, sorry." She nods her head. "Just a bit overwhelmed."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"I had a dream.. about Derek." Meredith shrugs and repositions her casted left arm, it was really bothering her. "I want this thing off."

"I know.." Alex sighs and hugs her, but is disturbed by Ellis' crying. "I'll go get her." Alex tells her and runs off

Meredith was very annoyed by the itching skin underneath the cast, she desperately wants to flex and bend her arm, it makes her feel a bit claustrophobic as she focuses on the feeling while waiting for her kids to wake up and join her