phonecase problem

first day of school

tw : sh

its my first day of grade 8

the night before i spend 30 minutes trying to decide if i should wear long sleeve or shorts sleeve, i decided shorts sleeves because i didnt want to go out in a long sleeve in +30 degrees. 

the thing is people will see my scars. i decided to bring an extra hoodie and long sleeve incase, its 8:35 am and im in school, looking for my locker. im sleeveless, completely exposed, i walk around the school receiving concerned, dirty, up and down looks. i decide to ignore it, there's nothing i can do about it. im not just gonna hide my arms and wrists just because of scars, i continue walking and find my first period class. everyone is starting at me, a wavy haired girl, with navy headphones, and dirty scars all over her arms, i sit down at my seat hoping no one talks to me, behind me i hear whispers that sound like this " god what happened to her? she cut herself or something ? " as they laughed. i realized they were talking about me so i ran to the bathroom to go put on my hoodie on. 

for the rest of the day i had my hoodie on, no one said anything anymore. as i got home i take off my hoodie, i was sweating and my boyfriend says 

" mikey, you went to school with a shorts sleeve shirt? jesus what were you thinking, everyone's gonna know your a useless wreck. tomorrow you better cover up, i dont want to be know as the man whos dating a mentally ill freak. okay? "  

its the first time in months that i finally have the courage to go out without covering my arms up, and i get this in return. i dont tell him that, all i say is " i. yeah okay love, im sorry ". i run up to my room looking in the mirror staring at every scar, still trying to process what my boyfriend just told me. " mentally ill freak? " i let that sink into my head as i fall asleep. 

the next morning i got ready to wear shorts sleeve again, but then remembered what he said, i decided layer up my long sleeve shirt with a shorts sleeve, so if anything i can take off the long sleeve. i go downstairs to eat breakfast as my boyfriend sees me and says " theyre thats more like it, good " i give him a smile, and as i look away i drop it.

i walk to school with my navy headphones and messy hair. its sweating outside, and i dont know if i can keep up with this long sleeve, but i need to for him. hes really all i have and if i want to keep him i need to listen, i dont want to be know as the mentally ill freak.