FINDING June

7. {Nan}

Who said running away from home wasn't easy?

Throughout the train ride to grandmother's place, I draped the scarf over my face and held onto my bag like my life depended on it. As I looked out the window, I couldn't help but feel bad for lying to Jace.

Why did he think he could fix it? What was there to fix? He agreed to the party anyways, he was happy when I didn't get to choose if I wanted the party or not. He was partly responsible for bringing those people into our house. And then someone he's friends with tried to rape me.

So I concluded I shouldn't have lied to him, but he didn't deserve the truth either.

God, I was such a hypocrite.

The woman beside me had a small kid who looked like a four year old. At first, the endless whining of that child did nothing to me but once I decided to focus on numbing out all of those thoughts from my head, his endless chatter became a problem. But I didn't complain.

"You can't have more sweet, Abe" the mother cautioned him.

For a moment, I could swear that he looked at me and then turned back to his mother because he was scared of my appearance. I watched as he took the sweet from her when she wasn't looking. Upon realizing that he took it, she then forced it out of his hands and snatched it away.

I should have fought like that. That was all I could think about. I should have screamed way louder, they would have heard me. I should have locked the door behind me. I should have told Mom more sternly that I didn't want that party. I should have told them about the mail, the party would have never even happened.

"Hey, have some" the woman tapped my elbow and put some sweet in my palm before I watched her give to her kid as well.

"Why are you offering me this?" I asked her.

She scoffed and then smiled, "you look troubled and don't seem to have nothing to eat on this five hours train ride."

I looked at her again. She didn't have to be nice to me. Maybe Jade was right, I wasn't used to getting treated nicely.

When she started to talk again, I started getting bothered. Why was she noticing me or my existence? I just wanted to be left alone, why didn't she understand that?

"I can help you with those bruises, I'm a health care worker." She offered me.

I shook my head negatively. "No don't worry, it's not a bother."

Why did she want to erase the proof I had that I got attacked? That was my only reminder, why did she want to take that from me as well.

•••••

Seeing Jace's name displayed on my phone screen as my phone rang again without vibrating, I sighed.

26 missed calls
4 new messages from Jace

Melisa Parker
•Yo, it's Lisa
•Yesterday was fun, we should totally go out again sometime.

After seeing all of that, I switched off my phone. Soon, we arrived in Beverly and it was evening already.

The train stopped, the mother and her kid bade me goodbye and I stepped down the train knowing exactly where to go next. The taxi stopped in front of me and asked for my destination. I told him and got into the car with my stuff.