I'll Tip Well I Guess.

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     Bee carefully made their way around the broken shards of glass outside the school. Somebody had broken a window to escape the prisoners confines of school - but, as Bee turns the corner, they can see a bloody student, covered in glass shards being dragged away, kicking and screaming.

     "...We've got to be careful, little buddy," Bee whispered as they snuck around a tree, clutching the shivering gsa poster to their chest. They shivered in the cold breeze - maybe more than a hoodie would have been nice to bring, but alas. 

     Finally, they arrived. Bee stepped out into the holy parking lot. Holy in both senses, that is, because it had both pot holes and majesty. They gazed upon the majesty, the mafnifisance, the magnicisance, the magnisisance, the magnificance, the magnificanse, the magnifisance, the magnificence, and the glory. The red brick, each stone kept apart by grey brick paste. The fukcin red ass mascot, a man, a myth, a MCDONALDS RESTAURANT!

     Bee collapsed to their knees as the building graced their eyes. Mcdonalds was a safe zone. Mcdonalds was life. Mcdonalds was love. Mcdonalds was a religion. 

     "Hurry," said Bee, grinning at the big yellow M: two thin arches, graceful and tall. "We need something to warm you up, and I think a burger will do nicely!"

     The gsa poster hurried along as best it could, (it was a gsa poster, and had no legs) and the both of them went inside. 

     There were 4 groups of people already inside, not counting Bee's duo. 

     A family of three was sitting near the entrance, with a mom, dad, and daughter. The mom desperately tried to get both to participate in the discussion, but the dad typed away on his phone, mumbling about work and such, and the daughter stared at her fries, picking away at the ketchup. 

     Two drag queens sat near the back, laughing and talking in high pitched voices - music to Bee's ears. Their conversation was loud, but over the murmur of the Mcdonalds machines and other customers, it was hard to hear.

     There was a group of smokers, waving off a harried server, who tried to get them to stop smoking. They puffed smoke into his face and laughed to each other about guns and stuff. They lit their little cigarettes and got lung cancer. 

     Finally there was a group of wild businessmen, (who the father from before kept stealing homoerotic glances at, like he wanted to join) and they all talked in grave voices, mumbling about stocks and football and other boring stuff like Russia, and one of the numerous countries Russia has threatened. 

     "Well, little poster, it isn't too crowded..." Bee trailed off, suddenly smelling something... delicious...

     The gsa poster rumbled in response to the smell as well, shaking off some bits of water. Yes! This is good!

     Bee strode up to the counter confidently, until it came to actually ordering. They almost tripped and fell as they got up to order. Wow this is going great. 

     "Hiwelcometomcdonaldshowcanihelpyoutoday." a worker said. Wow, talk about underpaid and overworked. 

     "Um... sorry, what was that?" Bee asked, as they had zoned out because of the embarassment of almost tripping. Also the words were almost impossible to understand.

     "Hi. Welcome... to... Mcdonalds... how... can... I... help..." the worker shifted in place, "you..."

     "Um," said Bee. "Well, I guess I'd like..." they glanced at the menu. Well, the gsa poster needed a burger, with extra cheese, and lettuce and tomato and whatever else comes on a burger. Wait no -  that can't be right. The cheese and lettuce and tomato would get ALL OVER the poster. It would be way too messy! How silly of Bee to not think of that. 

     "Well, I'll take one plain burger with no cheese for my friend, and a medium fry for me?" Bee finished off the sentence like it was a question, like a fool. Wow, social anxiety. Amazing what it does to your voice. 

     The worker slowly peered around Bee's left shoulder. Then, they looked Bee in the eye. They peered around Bee's right shoulder. They slowly leaned back to their original position, and by this time, Bee was starting to get nervous. 

     "You don't have any friends." The worker stared Bee in the eyes. 

     Ok! That's great. Anyway, Bee was starting to get anxious. 

     "Great..." said Bee awkwardly. Wow, this was awkward. What even are social skills. 

     "Your total will be 74$" The worker told Bee blandly, in the same voice theyd been using this entire exchange.

     Bee knew next to nothing about infaltion, and they had no frame of reference on which to base the food prices on, but they remembered that their mom and dad had been complaining about how fast food was so expensive, so they checked how much money they had. 20$. Hey, not bad for not knowing where it came from!

     One problem, however. 

     The worker started turning away, and Bee hurridly spoke up. "I uh, don't have that much money." The worker slowly turned around, eyes and soul dead from customer service. 

     "Okay." 

     "...Okay..." Bee replied. 

     "Thank you for coming to Mcdonalds. Have a nice day." the worker slumped over, bending backwards as they collapsed to the ground. Bee turned around and avoided eye contact with anyone else. Awkward...

     "I'm sorry lil guy, but I don't have enough money to buy you a burger," Bee whispered to the gsa poster, which was now shivering from the cold air. :(

     Bee sighed. Oh well. They started to leave Mcdonalds. 

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 17, 2023 ⏰

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