To Hell and Back (Gaster x Reader)

Chapter 21

The solution

A week had now passed since the...accident.

You could say nothing had changed since then...but that would have been a lie. For instance, you returned to simply sleeping, most of the nights devoid of dreams.

And if you happened to dream, you would always dream about Gaster. And wake up gasping for air feeling anguished in your heart.

The worst thing was...that now you were even doubting his existence in the first place. If it were not for the piece of cloth you ripped from his vest, you would have seriously believed he only existed in your mind.

But even so, you were really close to believe it.

Sometimes, you even thought about that day a year before, when Sean had entered the room heartbroken after he and his ex broke up. When you called yourself crazy.

Perhaps you were really going crazy.

Although everyone had also attempted to cheer you up, despite not knowing what happened to you - except Sans, but he couldn't really understand what was happening, could he? - your mood was still sinking down.

...

It didn't make sense.

It absolutely didn't make any sense.

You were supposed to forget everything, wasn't it?

What was also worse was that you were unsure whether it would have been better to simply forget and stop suffering or be in the conditions you were in and remember him.

You really wished there was a third choice where you neither had to suffer nor to forget him, but that meant pretending a lot, wasn't it?

...

There was also something else troubling your mind. Something for which you couldn't really find an answer.

If Gaster had stopped existing completely, why were Sans and Papyrus still there?

Gaster did tell you after all that Sans and Papyrus were born from his body and magic, so they could only exist thanks to him...and yet, if he apparently had stopped existing for real, then nor Sans or Papyrus should exist, or were you perhaps wrong?

And yet, at least and luckily, they were still here.

But that could have meant something, right?

Or had logic stopped existing as well?

"Oh my god, I can't do this anymore" you told yourself with a groan as you stood up from the cold bathroom floor you were lying on. You heard from Frisk that a friend of theirs liked to lie down on the ground whenever they feel depressed, so you just copied them.

Sometimes you couldn't even do this because Oreo often sat down on your eye to console you, and given the fact that he was growing somewhat heavy, you could easily say it was not really comfy.

Hence, you stood up, and glanced at the broken mirror: you couldn't see your reflection clearly, for which you kinda started feeling guilty.

And speaking about the broken mirror, your knuckles were still wounded and hurting. Over the past few days, one of the constant things you had done - sometimes even to distract yourself - was to change bandages: your wounds were taking quite a lot to heal.

You glanced away from the mirror, still unable to look at it, and got out from the bathroom. Once you opened the door, Oreo trotted around and purred against your leg: now that he was growing, he sometimes would even try to climb on your leg.