Why her? |Jude Bellingham x Reader|

16.

Jude and I were outside of the party, under the night skies. We could hear the baffled music coming from the building, it was calming, somehow.

We both walked down to a park, which wasn't far, and sat down on the grass.

He held me close to him, trying to calm me down from all the sudden stress. We didn't want to go 'home' so soon, so we decided to stay a little longer, but of course, it would be hard. I bet the others are starting to get tired, or not. I wasn't too good, mentally, but with Jude by my side I believed that everything was alright.

-Hey Jude?

-Mh?

-Do you want to go back to the party? You don't have to stay with me..

-No. Im staying.

-But I..I'm fine. You don't have to worry..

-I have to worry. And I am worried. I still can't believe that dickhead... fucking hell.- He sighed and layed back on the grass, staring at the stars.

I thought about it for a second, why did Neymar do that? Maybe I did something wrong, maybe I did something that made him think I wanted him. What if it's my fault? Im the cause of what happened. I mean, of course it's going to be my fault, why wouldn't it? It's always my fault anyways.

While all those thoughts ran through my head I hadn't realised that I started crying. My hands were shaking with pain and fear.

-Hey, hey! Calm down, Y/n..- He pulled me into a hug and gently caressed my head.

-J..Jude..It's all my fault, I'm sorry!

-What?! No, it's not your fault..don't say that..- He lifted my chin up and made me look at him. He cleaned my tears and smiled a little. -I promise it's not your fault, okay? What can I do to help you not think about..what happened?

I stayed quiet, thinking about the question he just asked me. What could be done to help?

I sighed and looked down a little. -Can we go back to the party..?

-...Are you sure?

-Yeah..If I want to take things out of my head then..I have to do it that way.- I got up and stretched a bit.

I've never been drunk before, I'm sure, but if it's the only way of taking the shit memories out of my head then I will be willing to do it.

I walked away from Jude without saying anything.

-Hey! Wait up!- He ran to me and pulled me back. -Why do you want to go back?! It's going to make it worse..

-No..it's not. C'mon let's go have fun, maybe it will help.- I pulled him back to the party. My palms started sweating a little, I knew what I was going to do was wrong so maybe it was best I told Jude.

-Jude

-Yes?

-Lets have some drinks?

-...Sure, but the others have already started drinking loads, except Phil anyway, but I won't let Phil be the only sober in the group. I'll drink some with you though, cmon.- His response left me open-mouthed, I wasn't expecting him to be so understanding.

I smiled and sat down with him at the table. We ordered some drinks and went straight to the point, 'forgiving' and forgetting.

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~Jude's POV~

We were walking back to the hotel, Phil was dealing with Camila, Trent and Destiny. I was helping Y/n with walking properly, she drank to much and unfortunately I couldn't stop her...