Ena Shinonome ~ Life or Death

Introduction

Ok first off background info. Mc is Ena shinonome. Her mum abandoned her and Akito when he was born. Her dad is pretty much the same as he is in the game and this does contain triggering subjects like sh and suicide anyway enjoy.

That day is like a blur to me. I often re-live it but it's always so fuzzy like I know what happened in the end. I just don't know how it all happened but it resulted in me being in a hospital bed for 10 months so I might as well tell the story.

I had been bullied all my life by my father, my "friends", my classmates, people on social media. It felt like everyone was always ganging up on me like I was a pawn in some game people liked to play with and after a while I believed it I believed what everyone said because once you hear these words from multiple people you know it kinda gets ingrained in your brain that this was true and that everyone's right about you and your in the wrong and all these horrible things people were saying were justified because you were a disgusting human being who was a waste of space to everybody around them especially there family. The only people I had were my brother and nightcord but even nightcord weren't much help half the time they have their own problems I don't want to ovebear them  with mine. K is always out in hospital with her dad, Yuki has her own family issues and needs to work out her own thoughts before mine and Amia has her own bullies and identity issues I don't want to get in the way of. I guess they just don't have time for pathetic little Ena I mean there problems are so much worse than mine I mean I don't really know why I complain everyone's got problems mine are light work I have a shitty father so much I get bullied who cares I should just ignore them but I still seem to fail to do that I should really start a list for every time I do something wrong the list would go on for miles and even then there would still be things I could add. I guess the reason nightcord are all so great is that we all have issues and we are able to share them with each other but I can never tell them everything because I don't want to seem pathetic I don't want to share my problems because I don't want them to feel they have to help me when I know they all have so many issues of there own. Me and Amia are probably the closest of the group we just connect you know and ever since we started dating things had been going great that was until they was banned off of nightcord apparently they'd  been caught doxing somebody and they had been perm banned I always knew their doxing would come back to bite them I just wish it wasn't then when I needed them most and we'd connected so much I needed them. Them getting banned was one of the worst things in my life.I loved them. Anyway since they had gotten banned I was sent into a depression. I didn't know what to do with my life since they was gone. They had been my angel. I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic but I really missed them.

MIZUKI getting banned made me lose all contact with her nightcord was our for of conversion and I had no way to connect with her without it and I didn't even want to log on to nightcord any more as I knew she wouldn't be there and it would be a waste of time. Logging onto nightcord reminded me so much of them it was like we connected through the app so now the app was connected to her in a way it made me cry every time I thought of it. I guess when your failing at like having a friend like MIZUKI really helps you out as they always know what to do and say and they'll always be there to support you through any hardship you face.

I still had Akito but he was my younger brother I couldn't bear him with all my issues because I was meant to be the strong older sister who protects him not the other way round I mean he probably had his own issues. I know he often overworked himself trying to be perfect all the time his dream is to surpass ran weekend he does it with his band Vivid Bad Squad though I know he has a sweet spot for Toya then again I'm pretty sure An and Kohane have a thing going on honestly I'm going to rename the group Vivid Gay Squad. Anyway I never want to put my problems on Akito because of his history of overworking himself I didn't want to bring him harm as he'd been hospitalised multiple times for driving himself to complete and utter exhaustion causing him to pass out multiple times for me to find him. I know it's just because he wants to be perfect as that's what we have in common it comes from our dad he'll never praise us no matter what we do he usually finds something wrong with what we do and tells us we are worthless honestly I think the hardest thing a person could do is impress our dad as he's never impressed with anything. I often try to help Akito with his music and I sometimes make him some illustrations and MIZUKI used to make costumes for them we try to help make his work perfect so if Dad can't praise me at least he could praise Akito as he deserved it I love Akito although we argue I think it's just because we both just have high standards and we get along as we help each other when dad is going on a full rampage about us not being good enough for him and how we make his life so much worse.

That's a bit of a background of my life but now I think it's time to figure out how I ended up in a 10 month coma.

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