control, the lack thereof

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control - halsey

i'm bigger than my body
i'm colder than this home
i'm meaner than my demons
i'm bigger than these bones

/

'i was born to make the world shake at my finger tips' - anonymous 

-

seraphina

Seraphina felt like she was drowning. There was water in her ears and nose, she couldn't breathe. She tried to remember the last thing. She remembered the Lantsov king, his office, and Aleksander. Aleksander. But the memory faded. Instead, it was replaced by Time. The goddess looked unamused; dark eyes shifting from kaleidoscopic colours to a deep shade of grey. She tapped her fingers on the golden throne,. The Grisha wanted to take a step but her legs were fixed in place. Her head spun with images; the Darkling, bloodshed and the Fold. It kept expanding in her dreams.

'What do you want from me now?'

The goddess chuckled. She crossed her celegs, form shimmering into bursts of starlight and dark matter. The atmosphere hummed with uneasy energy.

'You can't control it, can you? The energy you have inside you. The power you wield. You've tried to, dear Time Turner. I'll give you that. But you cannot defy what fate has installed for you.'

Seraphina's head spun. Her vision started blurring. The goddess almost disappeared from in front of her eyes; it was like. Veil had been thrown over her eyes.

'What ydo you mean I tired. What the hell happened to me?'

Golden laughter echoed around the room.

'You really dont remember? Well, my dear, it was quite a dramatic and tragic scene. You collapsed. Blood started leaking from you eyes and nose. Your mind was flooded with visions of murder, bloodshed, power. The darkness inside of you was free, but for a second but it was enough for Aleksander to see.'

Seraphina's heart skipped a beat. Aleksander?

''Your eyes rolled back into your head and you started to mutter. Curses, blessing, promises; nobody really knew what you said but . It didn't matter though because your beloved Black Heretic was so busy screaming for help. You should have seen him. Seraphina, he had tears in his eyes. His body shook with fear. You should have felt the agony in his voice as he summoned the Heartrenders. All for the girl who betrayed him.'

A pang of guilt shot up Seraphina's heart.

'You really had him wrapped around you little finger. He sounded so desperate even the other stars were tempted to help him.'

She gestured around her but all Seraphina saw was black. Not a shimmer of light.

'I forbade them, of course. We were not made to infterfere with the metal world'

'But you have, haven't you. You created me, you sent me down thee to wreak havoc with Aleksander's heart because you were too proud to admit that you still cared about him.'

Time snickered again, unfazed.

'You think you're so clever, Time Turner. With all your words with all your power . You want to play the part of the hero but you are nothing more than a villain. There is nothing even I can do now that will stop you from becoming a tyrant. A murderer.'

Seraphina wanted to believe that she was wrong. But she knew somewhere in her heart that the power had started to corrupt her. Her dreams of power, of sitting on the throne were becoming more prominent. He hungered for the taste of power more day by day. Knowing that she had dethrone Aleksander from his position in the Second Army was the sweet release that she craved.

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