Invisible.

1.

⚠️Im trying to step out of my comfort zone and write in first person but i find it very difficult.  Please stick with me. Hopefully it'll get better.⚠️

Leigh-Anne's POV:

I put my microphone down to my side unable to sing. Seconds later Jade picked up where I left off. I stared ahead of me as I felt myself getting choked up. Before I knew it, I felt the tears fall. I held my hand in front of my face not wanting the thousands of people that we were performing in front of to see me cry. Soon enough, my heart betrayed me as a sob escaped my lips.

I felt the girls create a small circle around me. It felt like my world just stopped. My eyes were open yet I saw nothing. I tuned out the instrumental of 'The Cure' playing in the background. It was all too much.

"Leigh"

"Leigh!!" Jesy waved her hand in my face. I pushed her away running off the stage. Which is something I've never done before.

"Are you okay?"

"Leigh-Anne?"

Our backstage crew and some other staff were calling me but I just needed to be alone. I didn't want to be bothered.

Once I got to the dressing room I changed out of my costume and into my sweatshirt, taking an Uber to the hotel.

I wanted to send the girls a text and tell them not to worry but decided against it. I stood under the shower head letting the hot water beat my skin. It took my mind off of the things I was going through.

After my shower I got into the bed. I didn't get dressed or put on lotion or do anything I'd usually do. Just got under the blankets and closed my eyes.

-

"I'd say I'm most like Perrie"

"Jade"

"Jesy"

"Why Jesy?" The radio host asked the last girl.

"I don't know, she's more edgy, rough around the edges. You know" she smiled. I tried to smile but what was I smiling for? I sipped my water, folding my hands on the desk waiting for this segment to be over. Once again I tuned everyone out.

"Leigh-Anne, come along"

"Right, sorry" I smiled walking over to the curtain. Once it fell the teenage Mixers began to fangirl and hug Jade, Jesy and Perrie. The staff began taking pictures. I stepped out of the frame, I couldn't force myself to smile anymore and everyone knows a fake smile from my genuine one.

Jade stepped aside pulling me with her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah"

I walked past her heading over to the fans when she pulled me back.

"I'm serious Leigh, Look at me"

"I'm Fi. . .Fine. I'm fine."

"You're not fine." She whispered something in Jesy's ear and they both turned to me. I covered my face feeling the tears well in my eyes. I hated being this emotional. It was uncontrollable at this point. Jade took my hand walking me out of the room and into an empty one. She locked the door and sat on the table.

"I don't know why they would only pick three girls when there's four of us. I'm sorry none of them chose you, I'm sure that if there was another girl she would've picked you. Is that what this is about?"

"What about?"

"Dont play dumb. All the emotional breakdowns. This isn't like you."

"No, I'm fine. I know it's childish but I'm just really tired, I haven't been sleeping well. I miss my family, I feel so homesick." It wasn't a complete lie, but these things only made up three percent of the things that I have on my mind.

"Its not childish Leigh-Anne. You're human maybe you should take a day off. It's better to skip a day then leave early."

"I don't want to skip anything. If I skip anything I'll be bored in the hotel room alone letting my mind take over and I don't want to do that."

"Why don't you go home for a few days. Spend time at home. Regroup and come back when you're ready."

"We have shows and press and stuff"

"We can handle it."

"What will everyone say Jade. I can't just get up and leave because I miss my family and I need a break"

"You can't keep having these breakdowns and walking off. You're scaring me. Did something happen? Is everyone okay at home? Your mom, dad, Sian, Sairah?"

"Everyone is okay, Jade. I'm just. . .I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Oh my god"

"What?"

"You're pregnant!"

"What is wrong with you"

"What? Are you!?"

"Shut up! Why are you doing this to me? No, I'm not pregnant. I think you're right. I'm going to go catch a flight home. I'll be back before friday" I walked off before she said anything. Why did she have to say that so loud? Loud and wrong. I was hoping that this trip home would help.