Dazai Angst

2

(3/25/23)

Gasping breaths are heard throughout the small, cluttered apartment as Dazai Osamu jolts up from his place lying on his futon. Tears stream down his face and a choked cry escaped his lips, and then a small sob. But then no more. He has been plagued with this nightmare for weeks now. Watching everyone he has ever foolishly allowed himself to care for, die.

   Although the man has never been mentally stable, he has gotten a bit better, but is quickly getting worse once again, yet he is afraid to reach out and ask for help, always covering everything up with a clown act he had developed a few years ago when he started his new job as a detective.

   Hearing his phone go off, Dazai shakily reaches for it, looking at the screen to see his co-worker and partner Kunikida, had been texting him since 7:15am. That isn't abnormal for the man who texts Dazai every day to make sure he is waking up and getting ready for work, always threatening to come over to his apartment and drag him out of bed by the time 8am arrives and Dazai has yet to answer. The man always staying true to his word.

   And although Kunikida may not realize it, this is one of the main reasons Dazai manages to get himself out of bed every morning. Knowing someone is waiting for him, even if the real reason behind it isn't for Dazai, and is in fact, more of a selfish reason. That has no meaning to the brunette.

   Cursing when he sees the time is 8:15 and Kunkikida has already said he is on his way to Dazai's apartment, Dazai sighs.

   Fingers fumbling, the brunette manages to type out Wow, calm down Kunikada, I just woke up a bit late. Calm your horse tits or you might blow a fuse so early in the morning. I'm leaving for work in a few minutes, you don't have to worry. :)

   Sighing, Dazai rolls onto his back, an arm laying limply on his forehead. The only motivation to get himself out of bed anymore is always that his apprentice, a young man with silvery hair and beautiful purple eyes that sometimes look yellow depending on the angle, by the name of Atsushi, is waiting for him at the detective agency. Though the young man probably doesn't realize that he is the last and only thread keeping his mentor a part of the living.

   Ignoring Kunikida's replies, Dazai gets up with a groan, his body aching. Not bothering to shower despite feeling dirty and disgusting, the tall man grabs his trench coat, putting it on over the clothing he hadn't had the willpower to change out of the previous day, making sure he doesn't look any different then he does any other day that would bring up questions and concerns from the others in the agency in a shard of glass from a broken mirror which he had destroyed long ago, the man leaves his apartment, but is quick to return no more than a moment later.

   How can I forget this? Dazai scolds himself, going into his bathroom, he opens the medicine cabinet to pull out a selection of orange and white bottles, Dazai shoves a bunch of the needed medications in his mouth, swallowing them dry with ease. Fuck, I'm out of adhd meds again.. How can I forget to call the pharmacy? I'll have to go there later.. Dazai groans This is not going to be a fun day for anyone and you don't even need to be a genius to figure that one out. He grabs his keys, another thing he had originally forgotten, before locking and leaving his apartment.

   Making it to his work, a three floor building where the top floors are known as the Armed Detective Agency and the bottom, a nice homey cafe the workers often go to during and after work hours, Dazai drags himself up to the top floor, fixing his expression to be one of joy, forcing a glint into his eyes with practiced ease before throwing open the door for a dramatic entrance like he often gives "Good morning everyone!" the brunette calls with a wide grin plastered on his face.

   Oftentimes the brunette would get a beating of sorts from Kunikida, for being late. But today, Dazai was on time, meaning all Kunikida can get away with for the time being is a mutter under his breath and a simple greeting in return.