Because Of You

Chapter 27

"I suppose, we ought to talk." Carmen decided, knowing her situation was less that ideal. She'd considered waiting it out again, but knew there'd eventually be a trap awaiting her, along with a prison cell. At least, this way, they could find out by her own terms.

"About what?" Levi acted ignorant, despite his threats aimed at her previously.

"Don't be such an ass." She shut down his attempt of confusion. "You know exactly what I'm referring to. Now if you will, I'd like to speak with you, away from the church leader." She demanded, nudging her head towards Nick, regardless of his advise, she still didn't trust him and knew where is loyalties lied.

"Fine." The captain finally agreed and lead the way out of the base, towards a nearby street which remained unoccupied. Luckily, the titans hadn't made it North of Wall Rose yet, so they gathered they had time to idly stand by. However, Levi's guard was higher than ever. He assumed Carmen wouldn't kill him, but judging by what he knew, he wouldn't put it past her, after all, she was a spy. "Get on with it. We're not trailing that far away from the base." He stopped.

Following his orders and getting straight to the point, Carmen took her pistol out of her satchel and pointed at towards Levi. "No-" He protested, but stopped mid sentence when Carmen flipped the gun, pointing the holder in his direction and beckoning him to take it.

"Take it." She ordered. Even though she didn't trust Levi, she knew this was the best option. "I'm aware of my situation here, and you need to know that I'm not a threat."

"What are you insinuating?" Levi asked after taking the gun away from her. "Go on, enlighten me. I want to know if I was right."

"Considering you stole all my letters, I'd say you had an advantage, otherwise, I doubt you would've noticed." She scoffed, releasing the anger she'd stacked up from his conversation with the pastor.

"Maybe, but you're forgetting one thing, you've got the eyes of a killer, there's no mistake there. That's the only reason I took your letters to begin with, looks like I did notice." The captain revealed, however, Carmen didn't understand, not one bit.

"What do you mean?" She wondered. "How can anyones life be determined by their eyes?"

"I'm good at reading people." He answered, being somewhat true but hiding the vital point that he too held the eyes of a killer. "Less about me though, why don't you walk me through every action that led you to this moment? Maybe you can try and convince me to keep your secret after that, but who knows, I could just shoot you as soon as you finish talking."

Carmen knew he would never shoot her, not after everything she'd been through. Losing her squad was devastating and she was still content on dying, so the threat wasn't as effective as he hoped. However, Carmen still had one question of her own. Why did he save her? If he knew she was a killer, then why do it?

"I'll pretend I believe that." The assassin replied, beginning her story. "It's simple really, I was told to enrol, then choose the scouts, get into a decent squad, and..." She stopped talking, realising her mistake. If Levi knew she was there to kill him, things wouldn't end in her favour.

"And what?"

"Does it matter?" She retorted. "As soon as I met Petra and Oruo, things changed, I stopped reading their letters, I didn't care when you took them. Being with the scouts gave me my freedom, I'd be damned if I let it go so easily. So I pretended I wasn't the governments puppet, I just wanted a life."

"And you're telling us this now, because you knew that we already discovered your identity?"

"Obviously, I'd prefer to have died with that secret, but here I am, telling you." She leant against a building, annoyed at herself for caving so easily. "If you're expecting some big news about the enemy, I don't know it. I was just a pawn, actually, I was more like a knight. But you get the gist of it."

"So you did exactly what they said, without question? Seems like a shitty job to me. That's probably why I don't understand you, because this didn't benefit you at all, did it?" He questioned.

"It didn't." Carmen confirmed.

"Then why? Were you getting paid?"

"No, I owe them." Carmen tried to explain, voicing the words she'd been taught by her guardians.

"I'm sure the scouts could have resolved your debt. Your excuse isn't valid."

"It's not money." She protested. "They took me in when I was a baby, fed me, housed me, and trained me to be the greatest weapon the government has. I owe them for that, don't I?"

"Tch." The captain gritted his teeth. "That's pathetic." He insulted, not truly understanding the extent of her 'training'. "So what are you gonna do?"

Carmen pushed her hand on the bridge of her nose, she had no idea what to do. So far, she'd told Levi about most of her mission, pushing aside the numerous assassinations and previous missions. However, she knew there was a long way to go before she was out of the woods.

"Hell am I supposed to know?" She replied. "What do you think I should do?"

"I can't decide for you, it's your choice. What would you have done if we hadn't made this discovery?" Levi asked her, in truth, he wanted Carmen to put her faith in the scouts, he didn't save her life just so she could spend it in a cell.

"I was going to stay with you, I have no where else to go." She revealed. "Are you saying I should stay with the scouts?"

"I don't care what you do, but know that this choice may dictate your future." He didn't want to push her in the direction of the scouts, but that didn't mean he wanted her to betray them either. It only meant that he wanted the decision to come from her.

"Hm." She looked to the sky, maybe the answers lay in the stars, but she didn't know. "If you knew I was a traitor, then why'd you save me?" She finally asked.

Levi didn't know the answer to that either. Although Carmen was the last one seen alive with his squad, he was certain she fought her hardest for them to live, but in the end, that outcome didn't exist. In a way, he felt sorry for her, if anyone knew about survivors guilt, it was humanity's strongest.

"You're valuable." He replied. "And you're the only one of them alive, it would've been a shame if their memory died, too."

"You've already said that, and in all honesty, I don't think you actually give a damn about it." She countered, stepping closer to him. "Is it because, you think we're the same?"

"What?" He questioned, confused by her upfront words.

"A few days ago, you said we're the same." She elaborated. "You knew about me and still compared me to you. I don't get it."

This wasn't Levi's interrogation, he wasn't supposed to be in the chair, so he turned down the question. If anyone deserved to know his past with the scouts, it definitely wasn't Carmen, right? She could leak information and he didn't trust her. "Maybe one day, I'll tell you, but until then, my past remains mine."

"Ok, I trust you."