Chapter 60

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The next few days were merely a blur

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The next few days were merely a blur.

It was difficult to pay attention to what was being told to her when she was bedridden and immobilised. Something like this had never happened to her before. Stab wounds, gunshot wounds, broken bones - all things that could heal through time - but this... this would never heal. Sometimes, when she first awoke from the restless dreams haunting her, she let a wave of hope wash over her, which would immediately dissipate after she tried to wiggle her toes on her left foot.

Everyone had tried to comfort her in their dismal yet kind ways. It could've been worse - was all they'd managed to come up with so far. In a way, they were right. Realistically, it could've been worse. She was somewhat lucky that she'd kept her ankle, though was righteously disappointed to have lost everything below it.

However, that was nothing compared to what she later found out to be the 'Suicide Charge' that Erwin commanded. Just recalling the event was enough to send a chill down her spine, making her body jolt and contort to try and remove the feeling of dread spiralling around her. Dozens of recruits - her recruits - had died that day, their fate was decided for them. All that training, wasted. All that hope, vanished.

The only survivor of the massacre was Floch, and he'd refrained from visiting her out of either spite or betrayal. She guessed the latter, but she didn't blame him for it. She, too, would've been hurt if she discovered her friends were being led to the slaughter, fattened up by endless training and drills.

Was this her fault? Was it her doing? Maybe it-

Three knocks sounded against the door to her room. The scout base was empty par the few survivors, and she recognised that knock. It was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it saved her from her thoughts spiralling out of control, sparing her mind from the torment of what could've been. Whereas on the other, she looked so vulnerable in front of him, so broken and weak.

"Come in." She called, regardless of the fact she looked a mess. Following her response, Levi opened the door, with Hange smiling in pursuit. "Morning." Her tone was dull, displaying her boredom without shame. She didn't hold her lack of entertainment against them however as it wasn't their fault that the scouts had been forced to attend briefings with the rest of the military, as well as with the queen and premiere.

"Morning." The captain approached her bed, kissing her forehead - something he'd picked up ever since he realised the shape she was in. She only hoped it was an act of love rather than pity. "How're you feeling?"

It was a stupid question really, but she figured he wasn't referring to her physical wound since it would be a pointless ask. Pain was still a foreign concept, physically at least. Sighing, Carmen decided to be honest, the usual 'I'm fine' replies had overran their mark.

"Honestly, I can't just lie around here all day." She admitted and gestured towards her crutches. Technically, she wasn't confined to her bed, but she didn't see the point of wandering the base when she would be alone nonetheless.

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⏰ Last updated: May 12 ⏰

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