14. Love, loss and longing

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Lee was staring at her, with a hand over his mouth. His eyes were horrified. Mari looked away from him, but Clarisse was staring, too. They were both staring at her. They wouldn't stop staring, oh gods-

Mari couldn't look either of them in the eyes.

"Mari..." Lee reached towards her. Mari shook her head and rushed past him and out of the clearing. She dashed through the forest, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. She heard the sounds of running behind her but didn't bother to check if it was Lee, Clarisse or someone on the other team. The sounds of Capture the Flag were going on all round her. Whatever the Athena Cabin's plan had been, it didn't sound like it was going well. She heard someone call for her again in confusion but she ignored it. She ignored all of it, even Chiron, who she sped past, sobbing, all the way to her cabin.

Her bed was the same way she'd left it a few hours before. Mari tore off her armour in a frenzied heap and dove under the covers, shaking.

She'd killed Mason. The brother Lee had spent years with at camp. She'd slit his fucking throat. Lee was going to hate her. He was going to despise her and the worst part was that he probably couldn't do it any better than she already hated herself. She trembled under the covers. She could still feel Lee's and Clarisse's eyes staring at her through the fabric. Was this how Mason had felt, when Frankie Ray died?

She heard the sound of the door bursting open and whimpered.

"Mari!" Lee's panicked voice filled the cabin. By some miracle it didn't wake up Sean, but that kid slept through anything. "Mari, please, talk to me."

"Let her sleep, Lee." That was Clarisse. Mari would recognise the gruff tone anywhere. Clarisse La Rue was in cabin seven. Mari briefly wondered if the underworld had frozen over. "After a night like that, she definitely needs it."

Thing about Clarisse was, she was loud. Fire truck speeding down the motorway in the middle of the night loud. Definitely loud enough to wake up Sean. Mari could make out the sound of shuffling blankets and a small yawn.

"Sean," Lee sighed. He sounded tired. "Go to bed, now. This isn't something for you to hear, okay?"

"Wha'ppened?" Sean's voice sounded bleary and half-asleep. "You woke me up, meanie. Ha, Leenie. Wait, Clarisse La Rue? Why are you here? And why are you both looking at each other like someone died?"

Died? Mari shuddered and clutched the blankets around her.

"Sean!" Lee snapped. "Bed. Now."

"Kid," Clarisse spat. "Poor. Choice. Of. Words."

Mari heard footsteps stomp towards Sean's bed. Then another set followed. Lee's voice filled the room. "Don't brandish your spear at him, Clarisse. He is six years old! Put that away right this second or get out of my damn cabin. Do you understand me?!"

"I wasn't actually going to do anything..."

Mari's head spun. She bit down another whimper.

"I have one of those too!" Sean sounded indignant. "Spearbrell-"

"Not indoors!" Lee snapped and Mari heard a clink. Probably Sean's umbrella-spear being snatched. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"If you were in my cabin, kid," Clarisse snarled, "You wouldn't make it past morning inspection."

"Want to see about tha-"

"Good thing he's not!" Lee clapped his hands. "Clarisse, out."

"You're not serious."

"Do you really think I'd make jokes right now? Get out."

"Fine!" Clarisse snapped. "Just tell me when she's feeling better."

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