The Girl Who Carried the Sun

Twenty

Twenty
☢️☢️☢️

For days on, it was an uphill battle for Lily to be with her books. The mere sight of them gave her nightmares. Words gave her headaches and sentences seemed to go around her neck to strangle her. But during late-evening studies with Daniel at least, she tried to keep her head above the water. She'd never found the whole process of preparing for the exam so overwhelming, it was insane.

But she loved listening to him on their couch. She loved sitting on her side and resting her cheek on the couch's backrest as he spoke to her, gently and patiently. He was so very good and so eloquent he seemed to fashion an entirely new personality and an entirely different language when he taught. He seemed wiser and above his age when his honeyed-brown eyes would stare ahead at nothing in particular as he tried to recall something from his past, something from his lectures, but as if he'd caught an uncanny glimpse of the future. He had that about him. That calm and anchored character of a learned man.

"You're excellent at this," Lily said one evening, cutting him off mid-sentence.

He wasn't looking at her. But when he did, she had a small, dreamy smile on as she looked up at him.

He smiled too and said, "I've always wanted to teach."

"I can see that. You should've taught at my college. Everyone would've loved you and every one of us would've learned something. I bet there would be girls coming after you." She grinned. "There must be. In your college! Right?"

"No." He blushed.

Lily sat up. "Tell me, were they students or teachers?"

"None. No one."

"Oh, come on. What's there to be shy of?" She nudged him a little on his shoulder.

"I'm not shy. We're studying."

And Lily laughed. "You're all red! How many were they?"

"We don't have time for that, Lily. Try to get something in your head."

"I have everything in my head... At least while you're explaining. I'm just not sure how much I can recall."

"I have incorporated stories and examples for every topic we have discussed. If you could remember them, you could derive the theories and methods out of them."

She nodded and he turned to study her syllabus. Leaning forward toward the small table, keeping his elbows on his knees, he tried working out possible questions for her exam. Lily watched him with rapt attention. He had blushed so badly at the talk of his students potentially crushing on him. Then she suddenly had the wildest idea. She wondered what it would be like to try to kiss him now. Maybe just a small, quick one on his lips. Those lips that constantly kissed her face.

She put a finger to her lips and reckoned his wouldn't feel quite as moisturized as hers since she couldn't remember him ever using a lip balm, except in winters. She didn't think it would feel too soft, but she supposed she wouldn't mind. She'd love to try and taste his lips for once and be tightly wrapped up in his arms.

And then he looked up.

"These might be asked," he said, tossing her a diary where he'd scribbled a list of important topics. Lily groaned, throwing back her head, and sank into the couch.

"Exhausted?" he asked tenderly, smiling at her.

"I'm only going to forget all of these in a minute," she replied.

"Have some faith, Lily. You have no idea how smart you are."

"Yeah, I was smart. I really was. It's just not the same anymore," she said absently, starting right into his eyes but seemingly looking past him. "So many things have changed. So many things..."