Red (Kakashi Hatake x Might Guy)

Chapter Fourteen

The talk was put off for three more long days.

After falling asleep in each other's arms, Kakashi and Guy had woken up the next morning, taken the kids, and gone back on the road to get to The Leaf Village. It had been a long, three-day trip, mostly consisting of Kakashi stressing the fuck out while everyone else acted normal. Despite the shocking information that he'd just found out, Guy seemed relatively chipper, happy to train with his students, and even listen to Tenten gush about her newfound soulmate.

When they'd arrived home, all of their students going their separate ways, Kakashi wasn't surprised at how Guy had followed him to his apartment.

So, there they were.

Kakashi sighed as he unlocked his apartment door, Guy practically buzzing with excitement behind him. Things had gone unspoken over the years, but especially since their kiss. Maybe it was because of the fact that they'd always been like that when it came to communicating (or rather, when it came to their lack of communicating) that Kakashi didn't find it too weird, but he was still anxious regardless.

He wasn't completely stupid, so he knew that Guy kissing him was a very obvious 'I like you back', but that was what made the entire situation scarier than it already was. Guy liked him back, and he was genuinely scared. Where should he even go from here? He hadn't thought he'd get this far. Was Guy mad at him for hiding it all these years? What the fuck was even going on anymore?

Silent, he opened the door to his apartment and walked in, Guy walking in as well and shutting and locking the door behind him. The silver-haired man gulped and flicked the living room light on, looking up at his soulmate, who was now standing in front of him.

"Hey, soulmate!" Guy grinned, reaching forward and taking Kakashi's hand.

'Oh, God. Gay panic, please don't set in now of all times. Leave me alone, you fucker.'

"You're oddly... Cheery," Kakashi mumbled, allowing his eyes to fall shut for a few minutes before pulling his hand away and crossing his arms. It was late at night, so he imagined that if this discussion went well, Guy would be staying the night there. If it didn't go well, he'd probably pull out the eighty-proof he kept between the side of his bed and the wall and spend the entire night guzzling it down, lamenting over all the mistakes he'd made throughout the course of his life. "That's to be expected from you, though. Don't you have any questions?"

"How long have you known? The whole time?" Guy questioned, tilting his head. He looked more curious than angry, and Kakashi wondered if he'd been worried about nothing the entire time when it came to his fear of Guy being upset with him for hiding it.

"Since the day we met."

"And the reason I didn't know until just recently was because I hadn't seen your mouth without the mask, and that's what did it?"

"Yeah."

"And you decided not to tell me because...?"

"Because..." He trailed off with a huff, knowing that he should be honest. Part of him was relieved that his feelings were mutual, but the rest of him was terrified. He didn't want a repeat of his father, or Obito, or Rin, or Minato-Sensei, or Kushina, or anyone else who had loved him aside from his students. If that were to happen with Guy, it might've actually been worse, considering the fact that they were soulmates. The part of him that was terrified didn't want to take the risk. Plus, he came with a lot of baggage, and he felt like Guy could find someone better- even if they weren't his soulmate. There were plenty of people who weren't soulmates but managed to love each other just the same. "I know we've talked about this briefly, but if I'm being honest, I don't deserve you. You've always cared about me, and I've always taken it for granted. You're just this kind, bright, amazing person, and I'm... Not the same as you. I don't deserve your love."

"Kakashi, that's not true," Guy tried to argue, moving to place his hand on Kakashi's shoulder, though the silver-haired man only jerked back.

"It is, though. Don't be ridiculous."

"You look down on yourself so much," Kakashi couldn't even bring himself to look at the older man, already regretting his words, but not wanting to take them back. "But I feel like you don't even realize how that hurts me!"

"I feel like you hearing that hurts you less than I've hurt you over all these years, though," "I mean, how many times have you tried to reach out to me or do something nice, only for me to shrug you off and be an asshole? Plus, I know I'm not in as much danger now that I'm not an Anbu, but you have to realize that I'm always going to be a target for people. We work dangerous jobs, and I'm infamous enough for people outside of the village to know my name... I have a bounty on my head. I'm worth some serious money, even, and so are you. I don't want you to get attached to me and end up losing me," "I've been through that pain too many times."

"I'm not afraid of that, though!"

"Well... I am. It goes both ways. Like me, you could die at any moment. I don't think I could handle getting hurt like that again."

"So now you're underestimating me?" Guy questioned, now clearly offended. "I'm not going to leave you... Ever. I couldn't hurt you like that."

"Of course I'm not underestimating you," Kakashi tried to step away, but Guy grabbed his arm, thick fingers and rough palm keeping his clothed wrist in place. "I know you're strong, but either of us could die at any moment. You don't have as much control as you think you do. You remember Obito, and Rin, and The Fourth and his wife. They never thought they'd die like that either, and it's not like they did it on purpose or anything, but we all know what happened to them, and it hurt me. It fucked me up really bad. Doesn't that worry you? That the same thing could happen to us?"

"No, actually- not as much as the fact that you refuse to live your life because you're scared worries me! Life is always gonna be that way, and we're never going to have full control, but that doesn't mean we can't try!"

"I really don't deserve your love," Kakashi remained firm, pulling his arm from Guy's grip, but frowning at the response he got. "You should know better."

It was something Guy had done when he was particularly upset with Kakashi, which was actually pretty rare, but the silver-haired man had seen it enough times to be able to pick up on it, and it was happening.

The ravenette tossed his hands up in defeat, the serious expression he'd been wearing now replaced with something he'd forced; a bright smile. He nodded, thick eyebrows slightly raised.

"I've gotta get going then, rival! I'll see you around!"

Guy didn't even wait for him to respond, instead exiting the apartment without another word- through the closest window, unsurprisingly.

The second he knew that the older man was out of earshot, he groaned, hating himself for everything he'd said in the heat of the moment.

With that, Kakashi sighed, walking out of the living room and into his bedroom, heading straight for the eighty-proof vodka.

It was going to be a long night.