Lunar

08 | Run

"It's complicated," he says, his voice worried, "and I don't want to overwhelm you. I just... hope you'll understand."

"I'm sure I can keep up," I reassure him. "And I know I'll understand, since it's you we're talking about," I add quickly, the darkness of my room hiding the red blush spreading across my face.

He places his hand on my cheek, and I lean into his delicate touch. "Thank you," he whispers. "But I need you to tell me if it gets too much. Okay?" He pulls his hand from my face, and I'm left lost once again.

I nod in agreement, but I already know it is going to be too much. Everything is too much for me. All my life I've felt fragile, and not in that beautifully feminine and bodily way that society demands of me; if anything my body is too strong and too broad. I'm almost brutish. However, mentally, I feel like I could shatter into a million tiny pieces at any moment. Any wind – strong or weak – could tip me over, and I'll be gone.

"It won't be too much," I lie. "Please... just tell me what's going on."

I've read fantasy novels and supernatural fan-fictions on the internet. I've adored these genres  all my life, and as a child I had hoped the creatures and the stories in the books I read truly existed. I find a small part of myself hoping for this even now as I sit here scared to hear Bennett's answer. 

But that wish is buried deep in my heart, and I hope desperately that what he is about to tell me won't make me run from him.

We sit in the dark for a moment, silence surrounding us as Bennett takes a moment to gather his thoughts. He looks away from me and stares at the open window. The silky curtains continue to move in the night wind. They make silent swishing noises across the walls. 

"I didn't mean for this to happen," he starts, "at least not so soon. I mean we've only known each other for a few days, and here I am spilling all my secrets to you. I wish this afternoon didn't happen. I wish we could've just gone to the movies, and you didn't have to get tangled up in my mess." His voice chokes on his last words.

His mess. What kind of mess could this beautiful and kind person possibly make?

I take a deep breath. As confident as I am in what I'm about to say, I'm all emotional about it. "As scary as it was, Ben, I don't regret it." I bite my lip. "All the matters to me is that you're safe," I add quietly, and I let out a sigh of relief. I'm so grateful he's sitting here next to me unharmed. I don't even care for my own injuries. I'd take any hit to keep him safe.

"The creatures you saw today... that you fought off today... they weren't just animals. They were shapeshifters."

He looks away from the window and into my eyes, looking for fear in my face. I've read of something similar before in my favorite story. I'm trying hard to show him that I'm ready to hear what he has to say. I don't want him to stop any explanation because he thinks I'm too afraid.

I'm pretending this is one of my stories to keep myself from going crazy. It's just another supernatural romance where the unbeautiful, average human lead is seduced by an attractive, otherworldly man. The only difference is I'm in the center as the female main character, and Bennett is my predestined and alluring lover.

However, even this delusion is not enough to keep the fear from rising in my throat.

But, I sit here, a carefully crafted unfazed expression painted convincingly on face.

After searching sufficiently for any trace of terror in my visage, he continues. "They were half-human and half-animal creatures who can transform into their animal at will. Although humans, such as yourself-"

Such as myself? What about him?

"-make up almost a complete majority of the world's population, an extremely small percentage of this population are shapeshifters. The creatures you saw today were wolf-shifters, or werewolves, as you might know them from the movies. Not all werewolves are like the ones that you saw in the field today. Most live in small, close-knit communities who work together to preserve environments and give back not only to their communities, but also to their surrounding human communities and other shapeshifter communities. They're... good. The ones you met today were rouges who, for whatever reason, had something against our pack." His words spill from his lips quickly. He's anxious for my reaction.

But did he say our "pack"? I feel my heartbeat quicken in horror. His pack. 

I don't say anything and we sit in a cold and quiet silence once again. 

Bennett suddenly moves. "Lanie," he grabs my hands and holds them tightly. "Don't be afraid. Please, don't be afraid. And if you're afraid, please, please don't run."

I'm afraid. I am. For the first time, I feel afraid with this beautiful boy in front of me. I'm not scared of him, nor do I think I'll ever will be. But I'm afraid of what he's about to say.

Although this afternoon already changed my world, I am scared that what he says next will transform it even more, so much so that it, and I, will become completely unrecognizable. 

"I'm afraid," I admit for the first time, "But I'm not going to leave you, Ben. I'm just not, no matter how afraid I am, or ever will be." In terrified anticipation of his next words, my breath quickens, and I can hear my pulse beat loudly in my ears. 

He nods and takes a breath. "I am also a shapeshifter; a werewolf."

A clap of thunder booms outside as he says these words, and the sky begins to rain, and I begin to cry.