The Tinkerer Chronicles: Dale Against the Universe

Part Two

To say I was upset to see my wife with another man would be the understatement of the millennium. No, I was positively pissed. But I kept my cool for Kristin's sake. After all, she didn't recognize me or Neas, not particularly after Neas introduced us and Craig as the new neighbors – a married couple and their son. Neas used his "Thomas" alias, while Craig and I kept our usual names. Of course, we couldn't use "Curtsinger" as surnames, so we went with Craig's family name ("Williams").

We must've put on a reasonable first impression, since we were invited in for dinner. I was in a foul mood through most of it. Kristin whipped us up some fried chicken with mashed potatoes, green peas, and her delectable gravy. It was good to know she still had a strong southern palate, even all this way out west.

Dale was an interesting man, to say the least.

The topic that took up most of our dinner conversation was him being a veteran actor in film and television, hence how he could afford the mansion that he and Kristin lived in together. His most famous role was that of the title character of the children's show from the mid-2010s, Captain Knutz.

"I thought I recognized you!" Neas beamed upon learning this factoid. "I used to watch you as Captain Knutz when I was a kid!"

Dale's brow crinkled. "You must be a lot younger than you look."

Thankfully, Craig took everyone's minds off of the awkwardness Neas's remark spurred when he asked, "What's Captain Knutz?"

"One of the absolute best pirate shows, lil' br—I mean, son," Neas said (with a very subtle recovery). "Captain Knutz is the main character – a witty, scruffy pirate with a talking parrot sidekick named 'Krackers' and a crew of misfits that sail off on adventures, visiting islands with unique characters. One episode, they're on an island made of chocolate; the next episode, they're in a place haunted by ghosts!"

Seeing little Craig's eyes light up from Neas's description of the children's program warmed both of my hearts. It momentarily took my mind off of why I sat there at that table, feeling so angry.

My parental instincts flared as I saw his face covered with bits of mashed potatoes. I grabbed at the napkin that he neglected to use and started wiping his face, as if I was his real mother, when I heard Kristin suddenly ask me, "Are you feeling alright, darling?" I wasn't exactly sure what she meant until she pointed to my plate, which I hardly touched. "You haven't eaten anything."

All attention shifted on me in that moment. "I'm fine," I dismissed, sounding firmer than I intended. I decided quickly to change the subject. "So, Kristin...how did you and Dale meet?"

This oughta be good.

Dale was the first to speak up, gingerly taking Kristin's hand at their corner of the table as he reminisced, "It was the weirdest time. Kristin just moved to Cali, starting a new life after her previous husband passed on." My left eye twitched a bit. The rest of Dale's story sounded muffled to my ears, having burnt from hearing the words "passed on."

Neas later filled me in on the details that I missed.

Apparently, Dale and Kristin met at the grocery store one day, accidentally bumping carts and several times again after that. After the sixth bump, Dale gathered the courage to ask Kristin out. From there, the rest is history.

"Sounds romantic," Neas complimented, whisked away by the story.

Me, on the other hand...I was sickened to my stomach, but I wisely chose not to say a word.