It Could Be More | ✔

30. Emotions

On days I had to babysit Reya and Kari, Mom left me the car and got a ride to work with Hudson. I didn't drive to school because it was just a fifteen-minute walk, but I regretted that decision Monday morning when I found Corey waiting for me at the end of the street.

If I hadn't been so focused on my phone and finding the right song to listen to, maybe I would've seen him standing there ahead of time. I could've gotten myself prepared. Instead, I noticed him when it was too late to do anything about it.

"What happened?" His brown eyes searched my face like he'd find the answer there before I could give him one.

I hadn't seen him since Saturday. Seeing him now opened a bottle of emotions I thought I closed up tightly. I open my mouth, but couldn't get the words out. All I could think about was what Liah told me yesterday.

"How do I fix this?" He asked, his hands gripping the straps of his backpack.

His voice was thick with emotion. It gutted me, but this was for the best.

"There's nothing to fix," I told him, turning my gaze on the sidewalk between us. "This all started because we wanted to help Grayson and that's what I'm doing."

"We agreed Gray would get over it."

"I don't think he will," I said, fussing with the cord of my headphones so I wouldn't have to look at him. "You're the one who came to me because of how much he was struggling in school. He needs you to help him stay grounded. It was obviously the better decision. You two spent all weekend together."

"A better decision for who? Because I've felt like shit all weekend. And how is lying to Grayson good for him? I can't keep doing it."

I stepped closer to him, pointing a finger at his chest. "Do not tell him."

He took a step toward me, my finger now pressed against his hard chest. My breathing faltered, hitching in my throat as I remembered touching him that night in the hideous house. My eyes shifted to his lips, all on their own.

Corey's voice was softer the next time he spoke. His hand came up to rest on mine that was still pressed to his chest. "You're scared."

I snatched my hand away from his, taking a step back. "I'm not scared. This just makes the most sense. You have your friend back and I have my brother. That's what we both wanted. Being together would put that at risk."

"And you get to decide what I'm willing to risk?"

How was he not getting it? "We're gonna be late for school," I said, walking away.

I thought about the risks, the consequences, all of it. Breaking up with Corey was the only way to make things right. Hopefully, he'd realize that.

"You're just like him."

I froze mid-step.

"You complained about Gray trying to run your life, but you're doing the exact same thing."

I rounded on him, closing the distance between us. "This is completely different and you know it."

"Is it? Because you decided we were done without asking what I thought about it. Maybe my friendship with Gray isn't the most important thing to me anymore. Maybe he wouldn't even care if we were together."

"Or maybe we get together and break up in three months," I threw back. "Then Grayson isn't talking to either of us and we're not together and all of this was a waste of time!"

His brows pulled together. "Why does it have to be like that?"

"Because that's what happens, Corey." My voice cracked, pressure building behind my eyes. "Things end and I'd rather deal with it now then down line when it'd be so much worse."