Yes, my legs are weird - Jungwon angst

~Confession~ Chapter 6

The quiet noise of rain filled the room, as well as a heart monitor. Jungwon slowly woke up. He carefully opened his eyes, acknowledging the multitude of wires hooked to his left arm. The room was a blindingly bright white. Jungwon tried to lift his neck but stopped after the immediate pain shot through his body. Laying back down, he looked around. It was full white, not counting the window and hints of slight gray. 

Soon after, the door opened revealing a doctor. "Hello Jungwon," he said walking over to the bed. Jungwon's body tensed, he was in a hospital. "Seems we're meeting again, a little too soon might I add" the doctor added sitting in the swivel seat beside the hospital bed. "Jungwon, you're far too malnourished and pushed your body's limits. And don't think we didn't see your cuts," she said coldly. Jungwon kept silent. "You're lucky kid, if this continued much longer I'm not sure if you would've survived." 

"The reason you passed out actually wasn't from your eating, but from the 8 pain killers you took, which has disappointed me. I took you for someone who knew better." Jungwon winced at the venom lacing her words. "I'm slightly infuriated with this. However, instead of lecturing you more. Let's discuss your health. You're underweight, for starters, your lack of eating has led you to far too low blood sugar, your back pains are because you injured it about last comeback and it has finally taken its toll, and the cherry on top is your muscles have been overworked, which in turn will take about a month or more to heal PROPERLY." Ms.Jang said sternly.

"There's no surgery needed for your back, we popped it back into a more proper position whilst you were unconscious. We've realized that your legs most likely have been giving out more frequently, which should be due to your lack of food and rest." Ms. Jang said looking up from her clipboard. "I suggest telling your members about this condition unless you want your manager to force you to sit out at times instead of them doing the job of monitoring you."

Ms.Jang stood up, "Your friends will be let in soon, and the nurse will assist you from here. Also we suggest beginning some form of therapy, your mental state most likely has taken its own toll with this," she said leaving. Jungwon finally let the hot tears roll down his face, holding them in for so long hurt. "I can't believe this..." he whispered to himself. Nearly 10 minutes later, the tears had somewhat finished, then he heard the door open. "Hello!" A cheery nurse said in a quieter voice. "Tell me when you would like your friends to come in, they've been outside for about 5 hours now," the nurse said with a smile walking in.

"I do need to refill your drip IV and see where your blood sugar is," she said grabbing the clipboard off the desk. Soon she finished and looked at Jungwon. "You ready?" She asked politely. "I'll have to do it eventually, yes," He said. "Okie dokie! You'll see them soon," she said exiting the room. Jungwon felt panicked, he knew he was going to be bombarded with questions, and the idea of their worry made him feel horrible. He hates it when they worry about him.

Soon he heard a few knocks on the door and the nurse's head poked in. "We're here," she said with a small smile. She then turned around and let the members enter the room. They rushed in and to his bed with haste. "Jungwon, what the fuck even happened?!", "Jungwon are you ok?!" "I knew I should've said something...". Jungwon shut his eyes tight, all the noise was too much for him at that moment. Soon the members quieted when he tried to move his right arm to his ear. "Why can't I die already?" Jungwon thought. He opened his eyes when he felt someone hugging him. It was Ni-ki. 

"Holy shit thank everything that you're still alive! I thought you died!" He said lightly crying. Jungwon felt a wave of guilt take over him. "I can't believe I've put everyone through all of this..." he thought before hugging back. Soon all of the members joined in on the hug. All 7 of the members were hugging with small cries. After about 8 minutes or so, everyone let go. The nurse soon walked back in, all heads turned to the opening door. "Hey! Don't mind me! Though I have a couple of things to check," she said grabbing a few needles and other various things. "So um, what happened?" Heesung stated looking at Jungwon with saddened eyes. 

Trembling, Jungwon thought, there was a lot to try and explain. "He's kinda stupid that's what!" the nurse said with a huff and jabbing a needle into Jungwon's left arm. Jungwon hissed at the sudden sharp pain. All of the members stared at the lady, puzzled at her statement. Soon she began spilling everything that happened, from the eating disorder to his back to the pills. Which only made Jungwon feel worse about the entire situation.

All of the members were left shocked, no one dared to speak a word. The nurse looked back at them, "Hey, don't sue me. This is just my job." Soon the silence was broken by a quiet sob. It was Jay's. Everyone had felt horrible about the situation. The comeback wasn't even on anyone's mind, but that their leader had gone through so much pain without reaching out for help. Soon everyone began comforting their leader and trying to apologize for not looking out for him. No matter how many reassurances and Jungwon told them it was his fault not theirs' they knew they wouldn't feel better. Their leader had almost died!

With time, the group had all sat in chairs or at the foot of Jungwon's bed. The nurse had left and everyone was tired. "Hey guys," Jungwon said nervously. Every member's head turned to Jungwon, except for a sleeping Ni-ki (he eepy). "I have to tell you something..." (ACCIDENTAL OMORI REFERENCE?). "We're all ears," Jay said with a smile. "Well..." Jungwon began as he explained his chronic illness and that he had been keeping it all from them forever. "I'm sorry I never told you all about it, I just didn't want you to think less of me just because of my stupid illness. People always did that and I didn't want to just be known as 'some kid who can't walk..." Jungwon finished, panicking and avoiding eye contact.

The members were stunned once more. Jay was the first to speak, "Jungwon, I understand why you didn't tell us, but I'm sad you hadn't told us sooner. We wouldn't of thought of you any differently, we love you Jungwon." That is what he said. Those words forever stayed in Jungwon's head. He was loved. His members, his family, loved him.

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