Spencer - Secrets pt 1 (angst)

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Warnings: self harm, anxiety. Read with caution and remember to look after yourself first <3

 Read with caution and remember to look after yourself first <3

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Y/n pov

One. Two. Three.

I press the scissor blade against my thigh roughly, watching the blood slowly draw from the soft skin. My mind is blank, I can't hear anything but my heartbeat as I sit on my bathroom counter, leaning foreword to be able to see the cuts clearly.

It's funny. When I was younger I'd say to myself, "I'd never do things like that- I'm not stupid."

But now, as I sit on my bathroom counter, I stare in silence as my arms go limp. I don't really know why I'm doing this, but I know it stops the feeling of sad emptiness and replaces it with... nothing. It feels like someone literally took a shovel and took everything from my brain, hollowing it out so I didn't have to think anymore.

I put the scissors down and decide that's enough when I get a call-

JJ<3 is calling

I pick up. "Hey, what's up?" I ask, with a slight monotone voice. "Hotch wants us to come in, be here in 30?" She says with her soft morning voice. "Uh, yeah sure. See you there" I hang up before she can respond. At this point, I don't care if they think something's wrong. I'm too emotionally drained to care.

Time skip.

Ding- the elevator doors open slowly. I step out, wearing my long black slacks, white button up, and short black heels.

I walk into the BAU's glass doors and walk to my desk

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I walk into the BAU's glass doors and walk to my desk. I walk past Morgan, "Mornin' beautiful" he says with a friendly smile. "Good morning buttercup" I wink with a giggle. Ive always loved the freedom of being able to "flirt" with Derek and not have to worry about a possible romantic relationship- I haven't exactly chosen the best partners in the past.

I walk to my desk, put my small leather bag down. I smile, me and Spencer got matching bags because he had an extra when my old bag broke after a case- I always cherish my memories with him.

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