Secrets - part 10

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I jolt awake, back and neck aching from the uncomfortable blue fabric chairs in the hospital waiting room. My eyes scan the room, and the whole team is here. "What happened?" I try to speak, but nothing comes out.

I stand up quickly, the entire team is worried as nurses run back and forth down the long hallway. When a doctor runs past us, a tiredly worried face, i straighten my back.

I try to ask the team what's happening again, anything, but no one answers. They can't hear me.

The rest of the team runs down the hallway, and naturally I follow. It must be her, right? That's why they're all here? She's going to die and it's my fault— I should've— I should've done something, heard something— anything!

My thoughts are interrupted when the team runs into one of the rooms. Before I can get there, I hear them start crying, mainly Penelope, and indistinct begs and whispers. I try to run faster, but the hallway morphs.

It gets longer, stretched out unrealistically but I'm only focused on getting to her. It feels like the faster I run the further away I get, and I try to call out to her, maybe she'll hear me.

I apologize.  It's my fault anyways. I should've been there.

I was right There.

There's a faint voice in the distance, calling my name. I look around but don't see anyone, and continue to try and run to the room.

The calling gets louder, and I feel like I'm being shaken, when suddenly I open my eyes and Penelope is leaning in front of me, hands on my shoulders, with a worried look on her face. "Are you okay? Do you want to go home to sleep? You should go home—" I scan the room, still feeling like I'm still in the dream. "I could call Hotch? You should get some actual sleep I think you were having a nightmare and I'm not really good at comforting people so—" she talks fast and nervously.

I swallow the dry lump in my throat, and shake my head. I give a weak smile. "I'm okay. Really. It was just a nightmare, I'm okay," I reassure her.

She lets go and stands straight, unconvinced. She gives a weak smile and nods, "if you say so, Dr Reid," she says trying to lighten the mood.

She sits next to me again, and we sit in heavy silence, nurses and doctors crossing the room again and again, the phone ringing every so often and quiet conversations carried on between staff.

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Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

...what's that noise.... Ugh.. I'm so tired....

What.. hap....

My thoughts trail off in my head when the memory from before kicks in. I shoot up, or I try to, and immediately give up. My eyes scan the room quickly, breathing quickly, and panicked. The beeping next to me speeds up, when it clicks where I am it calms down.

But I'm alone.

I lift my hand up to feel my face, and accidentally pull a bit on an IV coming from my arm. I flinch and put the arm back, using the other to feel my face.

It feels puffy, sore, and I can feel a scratch or two. My eyes hurt and I have a massive headache. I groan, "ugh.."

Breathing hurts, moving hurts, my eyes hurt, everything hurts no matter what I do. I try to call out for someone, but my voice cracks and breaks into a whisper, unable to go higher. I hold my throat, it also sore, and realize how thirsty I am.

My throat is so dry it feels itchy and I try to swallow, and flinch when even that hurts.

A nurse walks by my room quickly, and my eyes follow her. She doesn't notice me.

I gently push the blanket down, arms shaky, and I try to see the damage done by Alex.

Before I can check a nurse walks by and notices me, coming in quickly, voice calm with a smile.

"Good, you're awake," she comes up next to the bed and starts messing with some equipment, then grabs a clipboard and reads it. I'm assuming it's my chart. Her eyes scan the page before continuing, "y/n l/n...." I nod.

Then she frowns, before glancing up at me. I give a confused look, before she puts the clip board down. She gives me a sad smile. A pity smile. "Can I get you anything? Are you in pain? Food, water?"

I swallow again, pushing down the flinch it brings. I nod. "Wha..ter," I try to say, my voice once again unwillingly brought to a whisper. She smiles and nods. "Coming right up,"

And when I'm left alone in the room again, I study my surroundings. My bed is in the middle of a wall, the door in the far left corner of the room and a large window next to it. A small window is on the right wall, the outside blocked by what seems like a tree.

There's an empty chair next to the bed I'm in, white and a grey-blue blanket on me.  My eyes get heavy, and I try to fight the sleep but I'm so tired.

I'm exhausted.

I don't remember the last time I actually got good sleep, and I really... really want to...

I should wait... for the team to... come.....

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Another nurse walks out into the waiting room, and I nearly don't see her until she stops in front of me and Garcia. "For y/n l/n?" She asks with a small smile.

Both me and my long term friend stand up quickly and nod, "yes! Is she okay??" Garcia asks quickly. The woman smiles and nods. "She's awake. Would you like to see her? I'm just bringing her some water." We both nod quickly, and follow suit behind the short woman as fast as we can.

My hearts pounding, and we're about to turn into her room.

What am I gonna say? I'm sorry? What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she blames me? What if she got amnesia? What if—

When the two women enter her room, I stop in the doorway.

My heart drops.

She's asleep again.

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I hope you guys liked it!! Thank you sm for the support 😭😭 I'm so in awe of how many people have began reading my story and I'm so grateful I've been able to help or comfort anyone <3

Remember it gets better, and there's always someone who cares about you 🩷

Stay safe <33

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