Beige

Chapter Thirty

TW: CHILD ABUSE, MENTION OF SUICIDE, MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM

Please please please if you are uncomfortable with any of these topics, do not read. I can provide a short synopsis to anyone who wants one :)

I included resources at the end of the chapter for anyone who may be looking for help <3

Alexis Monpettit

The sound of my alarm breaks me out of the dream that I had found comfort in. The ocean waves crash in front of me as I realize I fell asleep at the beach again.

I escaped out of my window sometime last night after another kick in the stomach from my father. I was only focused on getting the hell out of that house, I didn't even grab my journal from the drawer of my nightstand.

Standing up and brushing the sand off my clothes, I walk over to my bike that lies on the sidewalk.

I swing my leg over, realizing that I only have an hour until I have to get to school. I can't show up in the same clothes that I wore yesterday, or else my teachers will suspect something happening. They can't know. No one can. I can only imagine the pain that I would suffer if someone was to sprinkle the idea of there being issues at home into my father's mind.

Pedaling as fast as I can, my house appears in my vision, making my bike ride home only ten minutes. I grin to myself as I notice all of the lights are still off, meaning no one is awake. I throw my bike down in the driveway, walking over to the trellis under my window that's covered in vines.

I watch each step I take, stopping at the top to slide open the window to my room that I always leave unlocked.

As I try to lift the window open, I realize that it's harder than it normally is. I sturdy my legs before lifting both hands to try to pry the window open, only for it to not budge the tiniest bit. I climb higher on the trellis, seeing if I can get a better grip on the window when I notice the lock flipped closed on the inside.

This can't be happening.

Taking a deep breath, my ribs ache from the beating that happened last night. I start to climb down from the side of the house realizing that I'll have to enter through the front door.

I reach into my pants pocket for the key I always bring with me and plead to whatever higher power is out there that both my parents are still asleep.

Entering the front door, I turn the knob to make sure it closes just as gently as I enter, walking on my tippy toes to make sure not to make a sound.

Just as I approach the stairs to go to my bedroom, I hear a movement from the living room.

"So you've been sneaking out of the house?" His voice makes me jump as I turn, spotting him standing up from his chair.

"I-I-I." My words are stuck in my throat as every limb of my body starts to shake with fear.

"Cat got your tongue? Spit it out." He keeps his voice low, as though he wouldn't want to wake up my mom.

I swallow any amount of saliva in my mouth, trying to coat my throat so my voice doesn't shake in front of him, "I just went to the beach."

"Hmmm," he takes another step closer to me, my body automatically retracting and taking a step back to keep space between us. "You know, Little Lex, I'm beginning to think that you love the idea of pissing me off."

My head shakes, "N-no."

Nobody could ever love the idea of pissing off their parents- the idea of disappointing them. Even after years of suffering from the abuse that I've encountered with Kenneth, the idea of him being disappointed in me makes me sick.