Apricity [a-PRIS-i-tee]: The warmth of the sun in winter
Briar Elizabeth Maddox
Became a social outcast over the summer and now her used-to-be friends treat her no better than the dirt under their shoes. But no matter what she's been through, she'...
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My mind is going in every direction. This is the first time in my life I've felt so out of control of my own thoughts. Everything that happened from the moment I saw her arm until now is playing over and over again in my head.
More than anything I wanted to punch something really fucking hard. But with Briar beside me and finally ready to explain what she's been through forced me to push those feelings down and just listen.
I took her outside of the school. We walked all the way past the soccer field and I found an empty bench for us to talk. I wanted her to see that there was no one else around. That no one would be able to eavesdrop and that she had all my attention. I hoped it would make her less nervous than she already was.
"Briar," I say to get her attention. She had been watching the field around us. She looks at me, her nose still red from crying moments ago and her eyes still glassy from the tears.
"Can you talk to me now? Please." She considers me for a moment and then moves to settle down beside me on the bench.
"When did you go into foster care?" It was a question that I thought would get her started. She opens her mouth and the words start to flow.
"I was nine when my father passed away. Three when my mother left us, I never knew her. It wasn't so bad at first, being in a group home. But it was always changing so nothing ever felt stable. I bounced through a few different foster homes. They weren't perfect but some were better than others. Losing my dad was the hardest thing I had to go through but I think I had it better than most for a good chunk of my life.
"I got to meet Wyatt during those years. He was the closest thing I had to a brother. He protected me there. Nothing really bad happened to me, I think a lot of that was because of him. But on our last night together, there was an older kid that was pissed out of his mind with me because I beat him in a game we played and he accused me of cheating. He was up in my face yelling at me and he was a big kid. Wyatt came at him with a baseball bat because he grabbed me and then... we all got in trouble for it. They separated us and I never got to see him again. So the next foster home I stayed in was when I was fifteen, almost three years ago."
She goes quiet for a moment, the small bob in her throat moves down as she swallows, then she goes on. "The couple that was fostering me, they already had a son. He was eighteen, about to go off to college. He um, ended up taking a gap semester so he was around a lot. I never felt right about him. At first, I would brush it off, I told myself it could be really fun. Maybe he would turn out to be another Wyatt but..."
She takes another break, then inhales a deep breath and blinks away tears. I lean forward on my knees, clasping my hands together because there's so much tension everywhere in my body right now and I need to make an effort to keep myself still.
"He started sneaking into my room in the middle of the night. He... he made him touch him and eventually he-"
She struggled and I stopped her there anyway. "You don't have to say it." I was clenching my jaw so hard I didn't know how I was able to pry it open to get the words out. "I get what you're telling me, you don't have to say it."
