Your Hand To Hold

Chapter Thirty-Five: Running Diagnostics

          I sat outside on the patio for far longer than I should have, the moonlight helping to make me feel less alone. With a heavy sigh, I rose back up and left the picnic table where only a few hours before we had all sat, laughing and carrying on before we had sought refuge inside. As I closed the patio door behind me, wiping at tears that threatened to fall still, I decided that finding something to drink was the best idea. I had no idea what time it was, nor where anything was kept; all I did know was that I could not face him yet.

   I dug through the cupboards looking for a cup in the darkness, not wanting to turn a light on in case someone else was awake. With a cuss, I slammed the door of the cabinet I held open as a light behind me clicked on.

   "You're either up extremely late or very, very early." I whirled around, a knife from the sink poised in my hand as Tony held up his hands, some of the amber liquid splashing out of the small square glass he held as the ice in it clinked against the sides. "Oh, a butter knife; that would have worked about as well as a pencil despite your skills. Still, I like your moxie, Jem. Good knives are in the top left drawer though if you're feeling stabby."

   "I am not feeling stabby," I grumbled balancing the dull blade between my index fingers. "I do not know what I am feeling. Why are you awake?"

  "Couldn't sleep. Happens sometimes; metal heart and all, plus anxiety is a beautiful thing," he said with a shrug as he took another sip of his drink. "What about you? Room not to your liking?"

"It is lovely, but it will take some time to adjust to. It is very comfortable, though I am not sure I understand how the bed stays so warm."

   "Water circulation system built straight into the frame. It'll heat or cool the bed as desired; trying to figure out a way to put it right into the mattress without risk of breakage during activities," he cleared his throat then; "Anyway... You and Reindeer Games get into a fight or something? Did he sneak in and you weren't having it or were you hoping he would and he didn't?" I shot him a look and shook my head. "Right. Wrong time... Can I ask though, what exactly are you two, because it sounds weirdly complicated and vaguely incestuous- not that I don't find Game of Thrones amusing, but I just... Yeah."

   "I do not know what Game of Thrones is..."

   "It's a... You know what, let's just say it's about as complicated as the two of you seem to be and leave it at that."

   I smirked, hugging myself as I leaned back against the counter. "Complicated is a good word choice for what we are..."

   "Are you actually siblings, I mean, I know you're both adopted but how exactly does that work romantically?" He made a crude gesture and then shivered. "It's just weird, I'm sorry."

   "You only think that because you believe that we were raised as children together."

   "Weren't you?"

   I shook my head. "I was brought to Asgard when I was roughly eleven Midgardian years and I was not accepted nor welcomed as a 'sister' until Thor's coronation five years ago; even then it was only in presence and not in title. I have only been acknowledged and respected as a Lady of Asgard for the past few years now, and even though Odin has named me as one of his children, it is as much of a charade as my title of Lady; nothing more than a political ploy."

   "I'm sensing some resentment there."

   I chuckled. "Resentment, no; frustration... Frustration would be a better term. Particularly as I had to claw for every scrap of respect I have."

   Tony sighed, rising to come around and grab a second glass as he refilled his own. He slid the second one toward me, tapping the side of his against it before he turned to lean against the island. "That's why we didn't see you for a few years?" I hesitated prompting him to sigh again as he sipped at his drink. "I guess that makes sense. You did sorta show up out of nowhere like some secret weapon; honestly, I thought the overall performance on the Loki front would have been a bit better, but you still did an excellent job with New York and an even better one in Sokovia."