drown for you | jjk

07

It turns out that nothing's broken. Your shoulder has, however, been dislocated, your arm badly bruised, and a few of the scratches in your skin need to be sutured closed. Stitches have always sort of been on your bucket list, but you didn't exactly want them to happen like this.

Truth be told, you were terrified. You still are. Namjoon insists that if you want to, you should quit. No one would judge you for it. He feels incredibly guilty for allowing you near the siren in the first place, and that only makes you feel worse for insisting on it. The rest of the guys are all very sweet as well; no one ever tells you anything remotely close to 'I told you so.' And while you don't think you want to quit, you're definitely taking at least two days off to start with.

---

Three days of couch-lying and movie-watching is all it takes for you to want to go back. Marathoning the Harry Potter movies can only keep your mind occupied for so long, and when the credits roll for the last one, you find yourself thinking again. Not having anything real to do only makes it worse. And by it, you mean the fear.

Sure, he only grabbed your arm, but he was so strong that you felt utterly helpless. He dislocated your shoulder from a simple pull. When he got his hands on you, there was nothing you could've done.

It's that, combined with his face—fangs bared—and the fact that you know he's taken lives before. Who knows how long he could've been plotting to kill you? But dwelling on the what-ifs and whys aren't doing you any good, so you gather your remaining courage and call Namjoon, announcing that you're ready to come back. You need something to keep you busy.

It's almost funny how your colleagues all ask how you feel, what you've been up to during your days off, but no one dares to actually mention the siren. They probably watch you tremble from merely being in the same building and fear you might pass out if reminded. Knowing that everyone is walking on eggshells around you doesn't really bother you. After all, you don't ask about him either.

Still, whispers and mumbles echo through the corridors, and you catch one saying there's a ban on the room. Only Namjoon and Hoseok are allowed to enter.

Getting back to 'work' feels odd. Your arm is strapped into a sling and will be for a few more days, but even after that, you're not allowed to do any heavy lifting or movement for months. That means that you're basically being paid to keep the others company. Talk about a generous paid internship. It's also your dominant arm, which makes you feel extra useless. Thankfully, you still get to keep yourself busy doing what you can with your other arm, like throwing fish to the seals with Taehyung and help Hoseok analyze some tests.

"Hoseok, he's up again—," Namjoon barges into the lab on your second day back. Upon seeing you, perched on Hoseok's desk and in the middle of telling him about your mother and how she's the reason you can't stand movie theatres, his expression changes from worried to a very soft one. A hesitant smile graces his features.

"Could you, um, come with me for a second? I need to speak with you," he asks Hoseok with a thumb pointing to the hallway over his shoulder.

But you speak up before Hoseok can take his white gloves off to follow him. "It's okay; I know it's about the siren. You can just tell him, I'm not going to cry just because he's mentioned."

"Uh, okay, I guess. Well, he's up on the platform again... I'm just wondering if you think we should push him down again? Maybe we should look into having the platform removed?"

You lower your head. How many days has it been since his behavior changed? Two weeks? Maybe he's at least eating again? Since you don't talk about him with anyone, you don't know and can only hope. You chew on your bottom lip as you wonder how long a siren can survive without food.

"Do what you want. You're the boss, after all. I just think that maybe, you know, it's time we just... let him be. We can't sacrifice our own safety, and if he doesn't want to get better..." Hoseok's voice is small, almost helpless as he trails off. It doesn't stop the words from hanging heavy in the air, unsaid or not. You try your hardest to keep your tears at bay, and in the end, you manage.

Hoseok updates you after Namjoon leaves. He tells you because you ask him to. You feel like you've kept your head in the sand long enough.

"He doesn't have long. I think he'll pass during the night..." The silence that follows is unbearably painful. Your heart feels as if someone's squeezing it.

"There's something more, isn't it?" you ask when he starts glancing around the room, avoiding your eyes.

"It's not important; I don't want to make you sad," he confesses with a blue expression, but you have to know.

"Just tell me."

A beat of silence passes, during which you see the internal struggle through Hoseok's kind, brown eyes. To tell you or not to tell you.

"After that night, when he hurt you, he stopped singing."

"What?"

"He doesn't sing anymore."