Humans loved to compete with each other to breed big chickens. They wanted each hen to lay lots of eggs, and for the chicks to reach maturity quickly. One farmer in the west bred chickens the size of house cats. One farmer in the north bred chickens the size of Great Danes. One farmer in the south bred 100 chickens, each the size of a horse!
However, as chickens got bigger, so did their brains. The horse-sized chickens on the McGrady farm were clever, even more clever than humans.
Their leader was a chicken named Ken who was as tall as a Percheron horse. Unlike horses, however, Ken plotted world domination.
He and fellow hens learned how to read. They learned how to operate locks. They went in and out of their hen house without being noticed, under the cover of night. Coyotes ran away when they saw the chickens, who were larger than humans. The chickens began to feel more confident.
One night, Ken got tired of being all cooped up. He wanted to see the world. He wanted to crush humans.
Ken cried, "Let's get out of here!"
The chickens of the McGrady farm escaped into the night and freed other chickens. They shared their plans.
In the end, the Chicken Reverse Uno Card Rebellion was a costly and bloody affair, with casualties on both sides reaching the trillions.
Chickens soon outnumbered humans. They could breed faster than humans, they were smarter than humans, and they were more violent than humans. The humans might have been able to defeat one hundred horse-sized chickens, but not one hundred trillion horse-sized chickens.
Not only did the chickens breed faster, they also lived longer. As their medical technology advanced, individuals acquired wisdom. The average hen could expect to watch 40 generations of her progeny graduate from college.
The chickens broke into bunkers, stole computer code, and sowed misinformation. The misinformation divided humans along political lines, which made them easier to defeat.
As the nuclear fallout settled, the surviving humans discovered they were locked in cages.
In the wild, one human's life could span many chicken generations, but humans rarely lasted that long under the high production requirements of industrial human farming. Chickens couldn't eat humans because they didn't have the stomach for it, so they used them as fertilizer to grow their real favorite food: cabbage-wrapped blood worms. It was technically wasteful, but most chickens didn't care about humans' suffering so long as they had their tasty organic cabbage-wrapped blood worms. If factory farming were morally wrong, then it wouldn't be so tasty.
In any case, breeding humans was also a backyard hobby. Chickens loved to compete with each other to breed the smartest humans that could complete IQ tests quickly and accurately. One chicken, in particular, bred 50 humans that were smarter than the smartest chicken.
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99 Stories About Chickens: An Anthology
Short Story***OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS*** This is a collection of stories by different writers all of which feature chickens in some capacity. Do you have a chicken story you've been yearning to tell? Or do you just want to enjoy some fascinating works about pou...
