~𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕖~

funeral

19th May 2020

This was it. Saying goodbye one final time. I had spent all morning getting myself ready and yet I didn't want to leave, I wasn't ready to let her go. Trav had arrived at my place this morning in his all black suit, this was it, we had planned this funeral together and neither of us could comprehend that it was happening. I had just finished getting ready; my makeup was pretty simple, just some eyeliner and a black lipstick over my usual base. Demi made sure to pack some tissues in my bag and she had also gotten herself ready.

"you ready?" the voice of my girlfriend emerged from behind me, I could see her reflection in the mirror I was stood in front of, her arms wrapped around me and she spun me around to face her.  "I don't think I'll ever be ready," I sighed, resting my head on her chest. I hadn't told her about Luke yet, I didn't feel the need to, I believed I was over him, and I didn't even know if he'd show up yet, but Trav seemed to think that I should be telling her, and it made me consider mentioning it but I chose to hold it up until he showed.

it took about ten minutes to drive to the venue, and of course, we were the first to arrive. I had to make sure everything look okay before guests arrived. it didn't take long for cars upon cars to fill the parking lot and putting circumstances aside, I greeted everyone the best I could. then it happened, a black Porsche pulled up and out stepped the tall, rugged, Lucas McAllister, My first ever childhood crush. My reaction said it all, I still found him extremely attractive, I mean I hadn't seen him in forever and he was handsome, but I knew who I wanted, and that person was Demi. Speaking of, she had crouched down to my ear and whispered "who is he? And why are you drooling over him?" she was jealous, and  she couldn't hide it. "That's Luke, and I'm not drooling over him, I just.... haven't seen him in a while." She stood back up and sighed "...did you, I don't know.. like him at any point" she asked, causing me to sigh at her "In all honesty, yes, but! I was fourteen, and you have nothing to worry about, I know who I have my sights set on, and it's not him" my reassurance cracked a smile in her but her protective nature began to show when he walked over to us. "holy shit! Sydney Davidson, who knew you'd grow up to be a babe." I felt Demi's arm wrap around my shoulders and Luke also picked up on it "and you must be demi." He smirked, holding his hand out to her, she took it and slowly shook hands with him, but her expression remained stern. "So, I guess we should get going" Luke chirped up after an awkward pause of silence. 

*time skip* 

"What can I say about Izzy." I began, I had prepared an entire speech prior to today but it all fizzed out of my thoughts the moment I stepped up to the pedestal. "she was amazing. And lets be completely honest, no on could match her energy. She had such a big and kind heart, and she was so giving. Her generosity aided her well in life, and she helped all of us through so much, especially me and Trav. She was especially brave when it came to me, having a friend with Bipolar Disorder can be terrifying, but she always stuck around and helped me when the very high highs switched to the lowest of lows..." my voice started cracking, and tears once again began to roll down my face, I desperately looked around and locked eyes with Luke, who immediately noticed the panic in my eyes and stood up, walking over to the podium and pulling the microphone away from me. Demi also stood up and sat me back down. Luke cleared his throat and began to talk. "I barely knew my sister, to be honest. I mean, she wasn't always my sister, and yet, I was the first person she came out to. I wasn't always around, but I never stopped caring for and supporting her through her transition, even though I was across the country. It may have seemed like I never contacted her but, I was there, when others couldn't be, like my mom, for example. Isabelle, wherever you are, I'm sorry that I didn't reach out to you sooner, and I'm sorry that mom isn't here today. And I'm sorry that you were taken from us all too soon, but I think there's something we can all agree on, Isabelle will never be forgotten." he bowed his head and now it was time for her burial. Row by row people headed outside and we were the last few to leave. "you okay?" Luke asked, nudging my arm, Demi was holding onto my arm tightly but he was just checking in on me. "yeah, it's just hard." "yeah, I know, well after this I was hoping to go to my grandpa's office, check out his bar, but I don't have any keys to it." "I do, we can all go after, you, me, Demi and Trav." "syd, I don't think that's a good idea with your meds." demi interrupted, but I knew my limits and it's not like I'd freak out after a few drinks in the name of my best friend. "Dem, I know that you just want what's best for me, but I promise you, I can handle it. I know my limits, and I wanna do it, for Izzy's sake. I was hoping we could make a toast to her" I said, causing her to crack a small smile as we continued to walk outside. "fine. Don't make me regret this." "I won't..."