Looks Into Alternate Worlds

Stop Making It About Me

     Leonardo finds that his coping mechanism, humor, is not working as well as it used to..

     Even when he does joke, it's no longer helping like it used to. Sure it didn't always work in the past, but now it was barely cutting it at all.

     But he tries to use humor anyway, because it's the only way he knows HOW to cope. Well, other than seriously confronting his feelings.

     ...He really should stop making so many things about himself.

     It's not like Leo is unable to have a heart to heart, but ut leaves him vulnerable in a way he can't handle. The only way he feels like he can confront his own issues is through humor. He does have his serious moments though.

     But as a result of his casual use of joking to cope, his brothers don't always take him seriously even when he does get serious. Its fine though. He doesn't want his brothers to worry anyway.

     And... If he can't even take his own issues seriously, how could he handle if his brothers took it seriously? Not that his feelings were an issue. He just wanted them to trust and listen to him.

     ...On second thought, maybe he shouldn't be trusted too much. He did nearly cause the apocalyptic future Casey Junior cane from. But at the same time, even after being appointed leader, Leo relied on Raph to always have a plan or catch him if he failed.

     Ugh! At this point he doesn't even know what he wants!

     Hey, maybe since he let the portal to the prison dimension be opened and the aliens that came out caused so much damage, maybe he belonged in a prison too? He technically was in a prison for a bit. He flinched at the thought but laughed anyway.

     ...

     ...it wasn't that funny.

     Ugh! Why could he no longer joke about the worst experiences in his life to cope?! Maybe it was because he brought it onto himself. Maybe it was because he didn't stop to think about how he affects others. He brought most things onto himself.

     Joking used to be so easy, especially when he was stressed. But... It wasn't about him. He knew that now.

     He saw how he made his brothers uncomfortable with some of his jokes. Since joking wasn't working, might as well drop it entirely.

     No more joking about deep stuff or issues. He can just keep the jokes surface level, so he doesn't worry his brothers.

     He realized it wasn't about him. He should start acting like it.

     ...It seems his brothers didn't realize that, if their hovering and constant worry was after he left the prison dimension was any indication.

     "Stop making it about me" he mentally begs himself and his brothers.