South Park oneshots

Main 3 fluff- smoking

No ship, all are 18

TW/CW- underage drinking, smoking, drugs, abuse

Kyle is a smoker, Stan drinks and smokes weed, and Kenny does everything.

"Mom, I'm going to Stans," Kyle called into the house.
"Ok, booby, have fun! Stay out of trouble," his mom called back.
"Will do. Bye,"

Kenny raided the cabinet quickly, shoving bottles into his bag. Then he snagged a packet of cigarettes before leaving.

Kyle picked him up, then the two drove to Stans house.
"Should we have invited Cartman?" Kenny wondered aloud.
"No, he doesn't do anything like this. Would've used it as blackmail later," Kyle said. Kenny nodded, knowing that was probably true.

They arrived at Tegredy Farms, finding Stan waiting on the porch for them.
"Hey dudes. I got some shit from my dad," Stan grinned as he held up a small package of weed. Kenny's eyes lit up excitedly while Kyle chuckled.

The three went to Stans room, Kenny handing the bottles of beer to Stan. He tossed a packet of cigarettes to Kyle then grabbed his own.

The three sat, drinking and smoking, laughing and gossiping.
"Dude your dads weed is some good shit," Kenny said with a chuckle as he coughed a bit.
"That's what he says," Stan rolled his eyes. "Want some?" He offered the roll to Kyle, who shook his head.
"I need to be sober enough to get Kenny home,"
"Awww, thanks mom," Kenny teased before laughing. Kyle just rolled his eyes, taking another puff.

It didn't take long for an adult to catch them. Randy walked into Stans room, and there was no hiding what they were doing. Stan and Kenny's eyes were red. Kyle had a cigarette in his hand. Kenny had a beer bottle in his hand.

The three stared, eyes wide in fear. They didn't move, as if Randy wouldn't see them if they didn't move.

"Boys is that my weed?"
"...no?" Stan said slowly.
"Then who's is it?" Randy crossed his arms. Stan was too high to think of a defense.

"If you want to smoke, ask. Don't steal my stuff. Kenny, your dads going to notice you took his drinks. And Kyle, you may want to change clothes. Your mom will smell it miles away,"

Then Randy left, shutting the door.
"Dude...is your dad, like...cool?" Kenny asked after a minute of silence.
"Nahh," Stan laughed.

When it was time to go, Kyle stripped of everything, taking some of Stans clothes. Then he got hosed down. He squealed, the water freezing.
"Filthy smoker," Stan teased with a chuckle. Kyle glared, but laughed.

Once they were pretty sure he wouldn't smell, Kyle dried off and put on Stans clothes.

"Just tell your mom you smoke Dude," Kenny said, rolling his eyes. "At least you wouldn't need to do all this,"
"Are you insane?!" Kyle cried. "She'd kill me!"
"Then why do it?" Stan chuckled.
"Cause I like it," Kyle crossed his arms.

Kyle dropped Kenny off at his house, then drove home. He walked in the door and Sheila stopped him in the doorway. Her arms were crossed, and she looked up at her son.

"Uh hi mom," Kyle said slowly.

"Mr. McCormick called. Said a pack of cigarettes and multiple bottles of beer went missing before you picked up Kenny. Do you know anything about that?"

"Mom, Kenny's dad is an alcoholic. He probably drank it and smoked it himself and just forgot or didn't want to admit it. I don't drink, you know that," Kyle said, crossing his arms. Sheila hummed, staring him down.

"Then you won't mind this," she turned and grabbed something off the coffee table. Kyle immediately recognized the breathalyzer the school occasionally used when suspecting underage drinking.

Kyle sighed, knowing there was no arguing. Plus he didn't have any alcohol in his system, never really had.

He did what his mom wanted, and she finally laid off him. Kyle went to his room, letting out a breath of relief.

Not 10 minutes passed before Kenny texted.

Can I come over

Kyle got worried, immediately texting back.

Of course, due. Are you ok?

Kenny said he was fine but soon arrived with his backpack on. He kept his head down, just following Kyle to his room. Kyle gently placed his hand under his friends chin, lifting his head. He gasped softly, swallowing hard.

"He knew it was me," Kenny said quietly. "Got what I deserved, I guess,"

Kyle just hugged his blond friend tight, not letting go until Kenny pulled away.

"Are you ok?" He asked again. Kenny just nodded, tiredly leaning on Kyle.
"Just hurts,"
"I imagine," Kyle muttered.

Kyle got out extra blankets and pillows, making a comfy spot on the floor. The two sat talking, but Kenny was nervous and flinched if Kyle raised his arms or moved too close. Kyle watched his friend, so sad he needed to deal with this. He wondered how often this occurred. Throughout their childhood, they rarely saw his face or any other part of his body. What if he was hiding the proof of his abuse? Kyle shook his head a bit, forcing those thoughts away. 

When it was time to sleep, the two got into their beds and said goodnight. But neither slept much. Kenny hurt and struggled to find a comfortable position, while Kyle was worried for his friend. 

The next day, Kyle and Kenny met the others boys at the park. When Stan saw the small bandages basically covering Kenny's face, he ran towards the blond. Kenny flinched and took a small step back, startled by his sudden movement. Stan looked at Kyle desperately, and Kyle grabbed his arm to pull him aside. 

"His dad beat him last night...was mad he'd taken his drinks and cigarettes'. I feel awful," Kyle whispered. Stan looked at Kenny, felling the same guilt as Kyle. Kenny stole it for them more then himself. It was their fault he had gotten hurt.

"Cartman's gonna be a dick about it... I just know it," Kyle muttered, glancing at the blond who was sat on the grass, attempting to catch a small bug. 
"Yeah..." Stan 

A few minutes later, Cartman arrived. To the other boys surprise, he didn't say a thing about the bandages on Kenny's face. They knew he saw them, for a moment when he looked at the other he looked almost worried. But he kept his mouth shut, probably for the first time in his life. 

"Where were you guys last night?" He whined instead. "I was so lonely, I had to hang out with BUTTERS!" 
"We were at Stan's house," Kyle said, slightly suspicious of Cartman.
"Well why wasn't I invited, huh?" 
"Cause you're annoying and sometimes we need a break from you," Stan said with a shrug.

"Did you guys get all gay or something?"
"WHAT?!" All three cried.
"Ew, Cartman!" Kyle snapped. "What the hell?" 

Cartman just shrugged. "Honest question. Why else wouldn't you invite me?"
Kyle just groaned into his hands, shaking his head.

Ending now cause I've had this sitting in the drafts for like a month, I dont even know. Just a long time. Can you tell I really don't like Kenny's parents? Cause I don't. Like at all.

Fun fact, I started messing around with character AI, and have made each of the boys fall in love me separately without even trying which made me have a small breakdown, wondering if I accidently have a flirty personality. Like I just want to be their friend and suddenly they're like 'I love you' like no, I dont want to 😭

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Have a great day, I love you all so much. Bye bye ❤