The Day the Music Died | Jegulus, Wolfstar

The Stars no Longer Shine

There's a room where the light won't find you'
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down, when they do I'll be right behind you.
So glad we've almost made it, so sad they had to fade it.
Everybody wants to rule the world.

Regulus hands were shaking, he couldn't move, tears started sliding through his cheeks. He stared at James guilty, he was standing, petrified, Regulus muttered "finite incantatem" under his breath —he'd achieved wand-less, simple spells a long time ago, following the steps of his older brother, who he looked up to so much until today. He felt hopeless, the one person he trusted he could count into left him, Sirius hated him, deeply, his own brother despised every inch of him.

A few seconds later he felt James' arms around him, and he didn't resist to his grip, he dropped to the floor, James sat on his side and hugged him tightly, Regulus sobbed in his shoulder. He'd learned how to refrain himself from making sounds when he cried, but this time, he couldn't, muffled screams and choked breaths escaped uncontrollably from the bottom of his heart... he was weak... weak... weak.

James was grabbing his hair and pressing his head deeper in his shoulder, they were as close as humanly possible, but this couldn't calm Regulus' agony, he loved Sirius, and he didn't know how deeply until his older sibling stared at him as if he was a monster, with no worry behind his intentions, and then... then Regulus thought that was worse than torture, worse than anything he'd experienced, death in life, that was the only comparison close to the pain he was feeling. He knew Sirius was right, that's what hurst the most.

"I didn't want to do it... I didn't know..." he blubbered in James' shoulder, the Gryffindor boy was breathing heavily, trying very hard not to cry himself, he caressed him.

"I know Reg... I know."

"I didn't believe..." he promised achingly, he knew James trusted him, but he couldn't convince himself... maybe Sirius was right. Maybe he was just a coward, a filthy rat, hiding in every corner until it's too late, and the cat discovered him, after all.

It caught him. Voldemort caught him, and it was too late to go back.

***

They hadn't discussed the kiss, it didn't seem of much importance given the situation, Regulus embarrassingly enough kept replaying the moment in the back of his head, maybe to opaque every other thought, filled of darkness.

Or maybe because he liked it.

Did it matter?

Of course it didn't. Dumb of him, thinking that hiding under James' arms would magically make all of his problems disappear. He was always a burden to Sirius, at least he wouldn't have to care for his stupid, perfect little younger brother any longer.

Knock, knock, knock.

  "Come in," feebly announced Regulus, he was laying in James' bed, looking at the ceiling, which no longer had stars on it.

James pushed the door open as gently as humanly possible, he had a weak smile on his face —honestly, when didn't he smile? That was one of his favourite things of James Potter, because his grin wasn't annoying for him, James was everything but a burden to everyone.

He always helped the people in need, even if they didn't ask for it, like Regulus, nevertheless he always knew when the time was right to offer a hand.

  "How are you feeling?" He whispered, taking a seat at the end of the bed, Regulus was curled up, so there was plenty of space for him to do so.

What a simple question, equally stupid. Why would he feel any better? He couldn't get mad at him for caring, James didn't fully understand him yet, he doubted that would ever happen, he'd never been good opening up.

  "Alive."

James chuckled huskily, making Regulus insides revolve. "I'd say we're making some progress."

The younger Black didn't respond, his head was busy wandering the dark alleys of his mind, so James sighed and rested a hand on the lump under the sheets, which turned out to be his ankle. This made Regulus' grey eyes meet James' warm hazel ones.

  "Are you coming back to Hogwarts?" He asked.

  "I have to, I can't go back home," he suspired.

James nodded, he wanted Regulus close to him, he was trapped in a street with no exit and the Gryffindor boy was the only one willing to help him, but he didn't want to lose Sirius in the process. "We'll figure something out Reggie, that is a promise," he squeezed Regulus' ankle in reassurance, but the boy didn't smile, he broke their gaze, his eyes weren't focused, fighting to keep open.

  "I know you think everything has a way out, James, but this has nothing to do with you. You can't help me, alright?" He spat, more nastily than he intended, but the thought of something happening to him because of his fault made Regulus' insides boil.

James didn't flinch. "It's not your bloody choice, Reg, even if you wish to ignore it, I'm your mate, a real friend, not like that filthy rat, Barty Crouch."

  "So what, since you're my friend you'll head directly into an insured suicide?!" he hissed, giving a jump off the bed, he sat in front of James, tearing his hand off his ankle.

  "No, I'm trying to protect you," he mumbled, his voice serene, inscrutable.

Regulus stayed silent, every other day he would've replied with a 'I don't need protection', but he did, desperately. Nevertheless, James wasn't an option, leaving aside the fact that he wasn't much more powerful than Regulus himself, he was a kid. He had his whole life ahead of him, and Regulus wouldn't be the one to take it away.

  "You can't." He snorted, he got up and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He knelt on the shiny floor, the small room smelled like lavender and coconut, it reminded him of James' hair. Suddenly nausea made his inside revolve, he leaned against the toilet, and that was all it took his body to start vomiting, it was barely liquid, transparent, since he only had half a tangerine in the whole day, but it kept going, he felt drunk with dizziness.

He coughed, a lot, his arm started aching, like a thousand snakes were biting into his bare skin, he lifted his jumper weakly, his gaze was blurry, his body weary. The mark was moving... but so was the entire room, to be fair. Still, the snake seemed to be sliding off the human skull, the black was more inked than before, the contrast between the white of his skin and the dark reptile made him gag again.

  "Reg, are you alright?" James asked at the other side of the door, Regulus couldn't answer, the pain was excruciating, the words wouldn't leave the back of his throat, echoing a while before disappearing. Regulus desperately grabbed his arm, squeezing his blood vessels, but nothing worked.

Suddenly, he felt his ears clog, and a snaky, wicked voice whispered inside his head.

  "Regulus Arcturus Black... you can't escape me... your destiny is written on your arm..."

The disembodied susurration kept replaying inside his brain, each time it was louder, senseless, the words mixed with each other, hissing unintelligible threats. Regulus grabbed his head and squeezed it till it hurt, but it didn't go away.

  "STOP!" He bawled, with his bloodshot eyes fully open, his body suddenly went numb, and the pain vanished instantly, he could feel his head hit the glittery tiles. A figure was standing beside him, with a dark cloak, an inhumane smile, it vanished and then everything went black.

***