𝗛𝗘𝝠𝗥𝗧 𝗧𝝝 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝝠𝗞, sim jaeyun.

「𝗙𝝝𝗥𝗧𝗬-𝗙𝝝𝗨𝗥」

I couldn't dare to turn around.

I knew that if I would stare into his eyes, I'd go back to him without hesitation.

And I didn't want that. This was the moment I had to choose between rationalism and empiricism and the urge to choose the latter was way too big.

My body was frozen. If I saw him again what was I supposed to say? What would he say? Was this our last goodbye?

"Would you turn around?" he asked carefully.

I still didn't move. I felt my heart in my chest beating rapidly, I was extremely anxious.

When will the police intervene?

"Please..." he sounded desperate.

My heart broke into pieces hearing his pleading voice. It was as if this was my Jaeyun all over again. The apparent bad side of him completely disappeared whenever he was with me.

I didn't know what came over me because the next thing I knew was that my body turned around on its own.

When my eyes met his, I felt my heart jumping up. There was nothing in the world I wanted so bad than just having him in my arms again.

I wanted him to embrace me, keep me secure and tell me everything that happened these past few months had been a dream.

I noticed his face and body got slimmer and he overall didn't look healthy. Upon seeing this, my eyes started to burn.

Fuck, I didn't want to cry.

I immediately tried to blink the tears away before he noticed them.

"Thank you for coming," he guiltily looked down.

"Hmm, are you gonna tell me what happened now?" I asked, my voice stern. I didn't want to cause him and myself more pain and that's why I decided to not show any emotion.

"I was mad, okay? You don't make me feel worthless, actually quite the opposite," he caressed my hair.

"But Jaeyun- I... You... All the things you've been through-" my voice cracked when my eyes started filling with tears again.

"Hey, hey, don't cry. I'm here, aren't I? I'm safe, so why are you crying? All that I said lays in the past now, none of that is still relevant," he cupped my face.

"But I was there when it happened and I never noticed anything off. I'm so sorry for being so stupid and selfish, I really care about you, don't think of me the other way," my tears finally fell as I looked into his eyes.

"I know that you care. No matter how much you treat me like you don't, I know that deep down, we're connected to each other," he wiped my tears with his thumb.

He took a deep breath, "I know all the evidence speaks for my guilt. However, none of this is true. Yes, the only right thing is that I really was the cause for my father's death, but it was unintentional."

"Unintentional? You hit his head against the table multiple times," I hugged myself, getting shivers from remembering that scene.

He slowly came closer, his eyes connected with my glossy ones the whole time, "Back in Australia before I came back to you, I did a horrible mistake... Me and my father got into an argument because he wanted me to kill someone for him.

A few days before the incident he manipulated me into carrying a gun with me at all times because I apparently had to protect myself. With that gun, he told me to shoot a person and hide it somewhere no one could find. When I declined on that day though, he blackmailed me into telling that he'd go and... Kill you and your father with the same gun.