Captain Sunshine

Chapter 5: Between a Captain and a Brother

TW: PTSD & panic attack.

Chapter 5

He was weightless...

He was freezing...

All he could see was the dark never-ending expanse of space...

He couldn't breathe-

He couldn't-

Solar shot up from his bed, gasping and shaking. He wrapped his arms tightly around his trembling frame, trying to stave off the phantom fear that was consuming his mind.

"It was j-just a n-nightmare-" He tried to say through gasping breaths, feeling a little frustrated that his brain was being illogical, "-I-I'm-ghk!"

He could feel the tears burn through his eyes and he was doing his best trying to force his thoughts away from that near death experience but was failing miserably. He curled forward with a frustrated groan as more tears spilled out (his chest ached- feeling anxious- desperate- scared-), realizing he had no choice but to ride this attack out.

He forced a deep breath in and out, trying to control the panic that was slowly consuming him.

"Hey, hey... you're okay. Just follow my breathing, alright?"

A gentle voice spoke from an old memory and for some reason it made him sob even more.

He curled tighter into himself as he could already imagine those firm hands holding his own clenched ones, trying to get them to relax.

"In - 2, 3, 4, 5- and out - 2, 3, 4, 5-"

He was trying- really, he was-

"It's okay... just keep going."

And so, he did.

It felt like hours of being eaten away by anxiety as his body refused to listen to his logic, before his breathing eventually started calming down into stuttering and shaky breaths.

His face was beaded in sweat and Solar felt like throwing up.

(Fortunately, this time he didn't.)

He took another deep breath before leaning his forehead against his knees while pulling his gray cardigan tighter against his frame, trying to ground himself back to reality.

With another deep breath, he forced himself to look up and around the darkness. Anxiously making sure he was alone.

It had been a while since he had a panic attack.

And here he thought he had finally overcome that little inconvenience.

With all the recent events happening, he should've known it was bound to occur. The stress, the pressure, the desperate Lance Corporal now in the process of becoming a part of his team... and...

His tired eyes landed on the desk next to his bed- a familiar photograph placed next to an open notebook.

.

.

.

.

"Lance Corporal, wait." Solar winced when he realized he forgot something and how he definitely broke out of character with the hesitance he showed. The said teen turned to him in confusion just as he was about to leave his office.

He cleared his throat, trying to act nonchalant, "Did you happen to find something else when you stole the watch?"

Scarlet eyes were filled with confusion at first before they lit up in understanding, only to be followed by guilt.