Pretty Boy

Chapter 12

CW: More discussion of self harm

Liam

Liam heard his phone beep as he and Charlie pulled away. He registered the sound enough to know it was the sound he had modified specifically for Harley's messages. He looked down at Charlie, fighting the urge to check his phone, but something in Charlie's gaze made him freeze.

Charlie wouldn't look at him, his eyes nervously skittering to everywhere but him.

"Charlie?", Liam asked hesitantly.

Charlie startled, jerking away from him, with a nervous laugh. "Sorry"

"You good?"

"I relapsed", Charlie blurted out, his hand reaching for his thigh and Liam wasn't sure if he even knew he was doing it. "I don't know, it was a bad day and it just hurt, I couldn't do anything to stop it"

Liam didn't have the heart to tell him that he already knew, that he had been in the room with Harley when he had gotten the call. He realised that he had violated Charlie's privacy in a way, even though it hadn't been his intention.

Another thing to add to the list of shit he felt guilty about.

"Don't feel guilty about it", Liam said, his voice calm even as his chest tightened.

There were some days Liam would get terrified of the thought Charlie accidentally cutting too deep and never getting up again or how it would have been if he had never opened up about the self-harm. The thought of him going through that alone wasn't something Liam liked to think about. He was someone who tried to find ways to help people, more so if they were people he loved and the helplessness he felt every time Charlie hurt himself was something he would never get used to. He didn't think he ever could. He wanted to shake Charlie, scream at him and tell him to just fucking stop hurting himself. Stop hurting him.

But he couldn't. That was his own feelings talking and right then, Charlie's feelings mattered more.

Liam didn't know how to help; he didn't know the right things to say. He just stared at Charlie as Charlie waited for him to say more.

"I—", Liam stopped himself, unsure.

"Liam", Charlie said, as he shook his head with an amused smile, "It's okay, whatever you feel"

"I don't want you to hurt yourself", Liam managed, his gaze training on the photo of him and Charlie he had on his table. They had been 12 when it was taken. Chubby faced and annoyed at being requested to put their hands over each other's shoulders, it was the embodiment of "Dad stop you're embarrassing us".

"I know it's hard for you, Charls", he continued, "I know you struggle to cope. But how long before it—", he cursed, "How long before it gets too much, huh?"

"I can't watch you destroy yourself", He admitted hoarsely, "I know this is selfish of me to ask, but try okay? I just need you to try and not hurt yourself anymore"

Charlie nodded, "I am trying. Every day, I try not to hurt. But I've found so much comfort in it that letting go of it is scary"

And that was what scared Liam the most. The fact that the self-harm could become a place of comfort for him, something he could do to feel good, all while he was mutating his body.

"We're always here to listen, you know that right?", Liam told him, moving over so he could sit next to Charlie on the bed, the two of them sitting dangerously over the edge, "Next time, before you pick up the knife, could you pick up your phone and call us? Anybody? Even if it's to say random shit and distract you, we are always here for that"

Charlie suddenly chuckled, shaking his head fondly, "We", he quoted, "That's what I love about you, you know? The faith you have in people. It's never just you, it's we"

He paused, then nodded, "I understand. Thanks man"

"Anything else you wanna get off your chest?", Liam asked him, his eyes moving to his phone before moving back to Charlie again, "Anything at all?"

"Yeah", Charlie said seriously.

Liam sat up straighter, "What's going on?"

"You stink, asshole, go shower"

Liam snorted, grabbing for his pillow so he could whack Charlie on the head. When Charlie dodged that, Liam wrapped his arm around Charlie's neck, pulling them both back on to the bed and wrapped his legs around Charlie's so he couldn't get away.
"I stink huh?", he muttered playfully, "You smell that?"

"Fucker!", Charlie cried out in disgust, "Let me go! Bastard!"

Liam couldn't hold back his laughter after that, he choked out a laugh, falling back onto the bed and loosening his grip on Charlie, who immediately whipped up and away from him, the look of horror evident on his face.

"You wanna play, Mclane?", Charlie snarled, reaching for something and before Liam could control his laughter and see what was happening, his face was attacked with a bucket of cold water as Charlie emptied a water bottle over his face. Liam spluttered, half choking as he tried to jerk away from the onslaught of the icy water.

"There!", Charlie said, his voice sweet, "Now you don't even need to shower"

"Charlie!", Liam called out, half laughing and half incredulously, "You got my bed wet!"

Charlie rolled his eyes, "We both know this isn't the wettest it has been", he snorted, "Fucking porn addict"

And with that, he walked out of the room.

Liam waited, narrowing his eyes at the door.

A sheepish Charlie walked back in.

"We were supposed to play FIFA"

Liam laughed.

Tiny chapter, and a late one at that. Haha I apologize, but really do hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to leave a comment, would love to hear what you think about the chapter and oooh follow me for updates. See ya next week,

Josh