I AM AWAKE! ♡

Why me?

Time skip

Clay's P.O.V:

I'm in surgery and I can hear everything. I'm scared. I should have listened to my mother I should have listened to Lena, for crying out loud I should have told Lena.

I got married without telling her or my mother. I started the surgery without speaking to Helena, so I didn't get to say goodbye.

I see Sam walk into the OR and all of a sudden my hope for this to be over is higher. She can stop this, come on Sam.

"What's going on? Where's Fitz Patrick?" She says.

"What?" I breathe out.

"He chickened out," Penny answered.

They're all in on this, and when I die, Sam gets the insurance money. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just listen? I'm AWAKE and no one can hear me scream. Come on do something! I'm just lying there on the table.

"COME ON WAKE UP YOU IDIOT, COME ON!" I won't budge, but a tear rolls down my cheek. Yes. The only doctor not in on this can stop this.

He examines my face, but he doesn't seem to notice. I then notice the flask in his scrubs. He's drunk. Why the fuck is he drunk.

I run out of the room in a panic hoping someone will see me.

"Help!"

No answer.

"Someone please help me!"

They can't hear me.

"Please!"

I'm crying. This can't be happening.

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

I see my mom in the lobby in tears. She's scared. Sam has been trying to comfort her before she went to check in the OR, but anyone could tell that Sam wasn't helping her nerves.

I sit facing her wishing I would have listened, wishing I would have waited for Helena.

"I'm sorry Mom." I have expected my fate at this point.

Just before I was about to get up, I see my mom pull out her phone to make a call. It was Helena. She won't be happy knowing I'm dead. I can't bare the thought of her reaction. I can't.

I go back to the OR, just in time to see they were injecting something called Adriamycin into the new heart. Probably to make sure they have a cover story.

I go into Jack's office, and I see a photo of all of them together in their scrubs. They were all medical students. How did I not see this, how did I not notice the signs? How did I not notice Sam didn't love me?

I know what love looks like. I love my mother she is dear to me and she shows that she loves me back.

I love Helena.

I love her, and I know she loves me. She's always been there for me, and she never told me what I wanted to hear, but always what I needed to hear.

I've loved Lena for as long as I can remember, but Sam was new and different, and that's what distracted me. The worse part is that I ignored the person that I truly loved, and now I'm going to die.

Killing me for insurance money, that's the only reason she agreed to marry me so suddenly, so she can receive the money when I die. Why me? Why am I so stupid?

I hear screaming from the other room, and the voice sounds familiar. It's Lena.

I run into the room she's in. She's screaming, and banging on the door.

"LET ME OUT! PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS! GET ME OUT, PLEASE!" She's crying. How can no one hear her?

She turns, her back facing the door and starts sobbing slowly sliding down the door. I sit beside her.

What's going on? Who locked her in the room?

Everyone who's trying to kill me is in the OR.

I want to hold her, I want to hug her a tell her everything will be okay, but nothing is okay, and I might be the cause of this stress.

"You want to hug her, but you can't, but you will again," I heard a voice say

I look up.

"Give her a hug for me, and tell her I'm sorry," she says.

"Mom?"