Jensoo Smuts n Lemons lol~

To be alone :')

lately everything that motivated me and kept me going doesn't motivate me anymore so it's like i'm just doing everything on autopilot- like an empty void just walking around n doing stuff

school starts tomorrow so idk how far i can go, life's been harder to live as it goes on, not even music helps me feel better

nothing helps me anymore, but at least i have u horny bitches with me :>

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She had asked her out, sort of. She had insinuated that it might be nice to go to her place after they closed the bar. She hadn't really meant to, but the thought of another night in her stark white apartment, heating up 2 day old take out, made her feel like a slowly sinking tug boat.

So that's how she had found herself with her coworker sitting on her shitty iKEA couch, looking tired, but beautiful in the pink hue of the LED lights her roommate had put up, calling it mood lighting. He wasn't wrong. Jennie's long brown hair is starting to fall out of her top knot, framing her soft face in just a way that made Jisoo want to stare at her for hours. Which she felt like she might end up doing, because she never planned out this sort of thing.

The tension in between Jisoo's shoulder blades wouldn't go away, and small talk was just not flowing between them. She wanted to skip to the part where she was touching her, where another human body was touching hers.

"Are you in school?" Jisoo asks, already knowing the answer, not because she was a creep, but because the bartender intrigued her since she had started working there 6 months ago.

Jennie shakes her head, her soft smile faltering for a second. Jisoo doesn't understand the reaction, quickly pushing down the curiosity that bubbles up in her. She was nosy, and Jennie seemed like the type to disengage if she pushed too hard on any one thing.

"What do you like to do." Jisoo follows up, desperate to fill the silences with something.

"Read." Unsurprising, she rarely sees her without a book in her bag or hands.

"What genre?"

"Anything really, mostly fiction."

"Cool.. Cool.." Jisoo says lamely, her face pulled into a fake smile, her voice coming out unsure. " sorry... I'm not good at this."

"You're fine... I'm just not really made for this." Jennie looks at her, her brown eyes holding something unspoken. "Humans are... confusing"

"Is this when you tell me you are a hundred year old vampire?" Jisoo let the joke slip out before she could really refine it, before she had even thought about it really.

"No," she says, smiling in a far off way, her gaze on some obscure part of her wall. Jennie's eyes attached to her suddenly, and it was the first time Jisoo felt like she was seeing a light behind them. "like the world isn't really made for any of us, it's broken and dirty, but for a few people, it's manageable."

"Only manageable, that's sort of sad."

"For people more like you. People who are good at this, people who can navigate the suck and somehow still have hope intact at the end of the day." Jennie leaned forward, her sudden intensity surprising her. It's like she had struck on something very important and intrinsic to her. "That's not me"

"You seem to navigate" Jisoo ventures, knowing instinctively that Jennie wasn't looking for pity, but just explaining something she had come to realize about herself.

"I cope. I can't help it with the way the world is, but it makes it hard to commit to much of anything."

"I didn't know things were like that for you" Jisoo smiles softly, feeling like she was seeing behind some curtain, her normally quiet coworker showing her what she was away from the noise of the nightlife. "you always seem so... not happy, but, you're funny, and calm."