Hopeful Undertone

Chapter 12: Partners?

"Are you still sleeping?"

Someone's voice echoed down. At the bottom of the lake, my feet buried in muck, I stood grasping wildly at the sheets of notebook paper that were somersaulting down like leaves, just close enough to graze with my fingers. Finally, I fell forward, my feet stuck fast, and captured one of the pages in my hand. Hurry up, Tyler was think-saying. I uncrumpled the page with frenetic hands. Can I have it back now? he thought-asked. I can't, I thought-answered, staring at the page. Over and over, written in various and increasingly urgent versions of my own handwriting, were the words I love Tyler.

"Tessa. Tessa, wake up," Lyla said, ruffling my hair. "The cafeteria's about to close. You missed dinner."

I got dressed as fast as possible, hopping across the room as I yanked on a pair of jeans.

The cafeteria was almost empty when I jogged in, thanking a couple last stragglers who held the door open for me.

"Sorry, honey," said Linda, the heavyset woman who served our meals. "You just missed dinner."

"Oh. That's okay," I said, rubbing my eyes.

She looked me up and down.

"You want an ice cream cone?" she asked in her comforting, gravelly voice.

I nodded my head like a six year old, and she disappeared into the kitchen, returning moments later with a plastic-wrapped ice cream topped with chocolate and nuts.

"Enjoy," she said in a low tone. "You look like you could use it."

Overwhelmed with her kindness, I threw my arms around Linda and thanked her.

"You're welcome, baby," she said. "Just don't show the kids, or I'll have a mob of 'em in here."

I walked lazily back to the cabin, stopping along the way to watch the sun set over the lake. Everything felt manageable now. 

Sometimes, all you need is ice cream.

Back at the cabin, the other girls were planning the next morning's itinerary.

"So that's Faye and Jess covering sumo wrestling..." Becka was saying, jotting something down on a clipboard, "and the rest of us free for the scavenger hunt. Everyone's partnered up by now, right?"

"Yup," said Carrie.

I looked at Lyla and gestured back and forth between us inquiringly.

"I can't," she said, wincing.

I cocked my head to one side.

"Josh asked me this morning, after volleyball."

"Oh!" I said, assimilating this new information. "Okay, no problem."

"Sorry," Lyla added weakly.

"No! It's fine," I said cheerily, absorbed in the last of my ice cream. "Truly. I'll just find whoever's still available tomorrow morning."

The girls were watching me with uncertainty.

I laughed. "You guys, it's chill. Me and Lyla hang out all the time. Is anyone in the bathroom?"

Seeing that it was empty, I went in and started my nighttime skincare routine, applying a face mask for a few extra minutes to myself.

Linda's small kindness toward me had shifted my mood entirely. I wasn't angry that everyone had partnered up without me—I just hadn't realized that Lyla and Josh were that close.

As I spread a tingly clay mask over my skin, I tried to remember every time I'd seen them together in the past two days. Nothing stood out to me, but then again, I had been pretty preoccupied myself.

Good for her, anyway, not waiting around. Post-ice-cream Tessa was on that same wavelength: I would not sulk or pine or wish for people to treat me a certain way. I would relish the present and waste no brain space on grudges or secrets. I would deal openly with life, like a six year old just happy to be here.

Wednesday morning was much warmer, muggy, even. The sunscreen that I had preemptively slathered everywhere was making the heat worse. The eight of us who didn't have other stuff to do were assembled at the lake, where one of the camp leaders, a young pastor named Andre, explained the rules of the scavenger hunt:

We would be working in pairs—a safety measure to ensure no one ended up, like, falling down a hill, breaking a leg, and dying in the wilderness all alone. The clues would be hard, and they'd be different for each team so that we wouldn't be on top of each other the whole time. The winners could opt out of any single volunteer duty this week, naming someone to take over in their place. 

Everyone wanted to win for different reasons. Personally, I was looking to get out of water-balloon dodgeball, which I was scheduled for that afternoon, right after leading anther day of play rehearsals.

With the official rules given, everyone moved around to find their partner.

"Good luck, dude," Josh said, making his way over to Lyla.

"You're going down, man," Tyler replied, staying put.

Over the crowd, Abram caught my eye. He smiled, shuffling toward me with his usual relaxed swagger. Tyler looked at Abram, then me.

"Tessa!" Tyler called out extremely loudly, before Abram had gotten far. "Me and you? Partners?"

My eyes flickered back and forth between Tyler and Abram. I shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" I called back. Ice Cream Tessa didn't care who she got paired up with, but I had to admit, I respected Tyler's directness.

Zack and Abram looked around, confused, and then stood together, clearly disappointed.

"Good morning," Tyler said, standing at my side. "You get enough sleep or what?"

I laughed. "Yeah, evening naps are where it's at."

"Really?" he said, smiling. "I've gotta try that sometime."

"Yeah, you should."

"Does everyone have a partner?" Pastor Andre asked, looking around. "Alright. When I ring this bell, all groups come and grab your first clue here. They're all different. No peeking. Ready?"

He rang the bell. 

We were off.