As Normal As Can Be || one-sided lashton

one

As you find out new things about yourself and get answers to questions you never thought would be answered, some things are bound to change.
Exactly this was what was happening to Luke and he was no big fan of it.
Maybe his therapist was right and he did find comfort in his sadness, but was that really so wrong?

'Luke? Are you done?', a voice asked after a few knocks on the door.

'Yes', Luke answered, cringing at the piles of clothing he had spread across the floor, 'Almost'.

'I'm coming in now', the same voice warned, before letting themself in. Luke quickly covered himself with a blanket he saw laying around, blushing as his bandmate Ashton looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

'How often do I have to tell you that I really don't mind seeing you in your underwear?'

'How often do I have to tell you that I really mind you seeing me in my underwear', Luke argued and the other boy shrugged, 'Good point'.

'I know.'

'So', Ashton started, 'What seems to be the problem?'
He sat down on the younger one's bed, patiently waiting for an answer.

'Nothing. I told you I'm almost done.'

'And that's why you're standing half naked in the middle of what looks like a 50% sale at H&M?'

'I'm not.'
For that, Luke earned yet another raised eyebrow.

'Denial's a river in Egypt, honey.'
Honey. Luke knew that Ashton liked to call people that, but he couldn't help but feel the butterflies awakening.
Because that was Luke's thing since meeting Ashton three years ago - getting his hopes up for absolutely no reason at all.

'It's just lunch. You, me and the other idiots', Ashton reminded him, 'You don't see me wearing anything fancy, do you?'

'No', Luke mumbled, embarrassed from being lectured by Ashton, again. Sometimes Luke was sure they'd just leave without him and maybe Calum and Michael eventually would, but not Ashton. Ashton always took care of him, sometimes treating him a bit too much like a child - not that he didn't like it.
Somehow though, it bothered him, since he normally tried to not be a burden for anyone.

'What about this pair?', Ashton asked, holding up a simple pair of black skinny jeans. He knew that the singer almost always wore those anyway, so it was a safe bet.

'Luke?'
But Luke didn't answer. Instead, he started showing a peculiar interest in the carpet's pattern.

'Luke, I know carpet pattern analysis isn't a new hobby of yours so would you mind giving me like thirty percent of your attention?'
With a blush, the addressed boy looked up, 'Sorry.'
No wonder Ashton didn't like him when he acted like a total child.

'So, this one?', he repeated, nodding towards the jeans in his hand.
Not wanting to make a fuss, Luke just nodded and took the item of clothing, quickly getting in. Despite wanting to please Ashton, Luke couldn't help but feel how the pants were too tight in all the wrong places, then again to loose in others.
Ashton must've noticed the discomfort of his friend since he asked, 'Not the right one?'
Luke shook his head and Ashton told him to take them off. As he did, his eyes filled with tears. He was so frustrated.

'Well, maybe this one would work-', Ashton wanted to suggest when he saw Luke's glassy eyes.

'Don't cry, it's fine! I have jeans that I hate too. No idea why I even keep them', he explained while pulling Luke onto his lap. The slightly taller boy immediately hid in the drummer's shoulder and silently cried.

'It's okay.'

*

'What took you so long?', Michael wanted to ask when Ashton and Luke entered the restaurant, but kept quiet when he saw their little problem child sniffing.

'Do we need anything?', he asked instead, accepting the shaking of Ashton's head.
They were all worried since finding out that Luke was dealing with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). He had gotten the diagnosis pretty early into their last break. Since then, he was attending therapy once a week and had received on-demand medication that Michael took care of - just in case.
Ever since his diagnosis, Michael had temporarily moved into Luke's flat, helping him where he could. On tour though, Michael was glad to have the others' help as well. It wasn't always easy, but Luke was his best friend after all.

To get their minds off of things, they ordered food and changed topics. This was working for everyone except for Luke. Food and his weight had become the main sources of stress in his life, therefore not really helping.

'Aren't you hungry?', Calum asked after watching Luke stare down his food for the past five minutes.

'Uh, not so much', he replied, but grabbed the fork anyway. Another ten minutes passed in which Luke pushed his food around, barely eating any of it.

'I'll be outside for a smoke', Calum announced standing up.

'Mind if I join?', Michael asked and Calum shook his head, 'I'll be there in a minute. Just gonna use the restroom real quick.'
The boys left, leaving Ashton and Luke behind.

'Don't overthink it, honey. It'll only make it worse', Ashton told the blonde boy, making him gulp.
While looking at him, a stupid idea manifested itself in the drummer's head, 'Can I try something?'

'I guess.'
Since he had nothing to lose, he decided to give it a go.

'Don't laugh at me, okay?'
This peaked Luke's interest, 'okay'.
Ashton took the singer's fork, putting some food on it. Then, he lifted his hand, starting to move it towards Luke's mouth while making engine sounds with his mouth.

'This is indeed stupid', Luke laughed, making Ashton pout, 'You promised not to laugh!'

'Sorry', Luke giggled and when Ashton repeated his nonsense, he hesitantly opened his mouth.

'There you go!'
Ashton beamed with happiness, proud that his idea actually worked.

'Attention, attention dear passengers, another flight is about to land', the drummer mumbled in a weird voice, adding his engine noises and feeding Luke bite after bite.

'You're such an idiot', Luke laughed after half of his plate. The drummer came up with something new each time, making it worth daring to take just a few more bites.

'I'm full, Ash', Luke laughed after another quarter, causing the fork-flight to land on his plate this time.

'Thank you for choosing fork-airli-'
Ashton went quiet as soon as their friends came back. Somehow it didn't feel right for them to witness this. Luke seemed to agree, because he didn't mention it for the rest of the night either.